Back despite lack of popular demand, it's the Thursday Trendwatch! Let's see what people are looking at on Yahoo! today!
(Yeah, I know, I tried doing this a few weeks back with Twitter's trending topics, but that was boring: Just a bunch of TV shows that people were talking about. I'm hoping Yahoo! will provide a more eclectic mix of things to riff on.)
10: Luka Doncic
Why he's trending: NBA fans now Doncic as the 22-year-old wunderkind (or whatver's Slovenian for "wunderkind") of the Dallas Mavericks. After only a few years in the league, he's blossomed into a perennial MVP candidate, and he's in the news today thanks to his participation in the Olympics as a member of the Slovenian national team. . . that just lost to France. FRANCE! That's almost as embarrassing as losing to the Knicks!
9: Doris Duke
Why she's trending: After Luka Doncic made his unceremonious exit from the Olympics, the disturbingly tall and long-dead heiress took the silver medal in the women's shot put. . . OK, seriously, though: Doris Duke's killing of a gay man in Newport, Rhode Island. in 1966 was long ruled an accidental homicide. Recently, though, it's been conclusively established that Duke intentionally murdered her erstwhile friend. Yet more proof of the deadly effects of tobacco.
8. NFL Tickets
Why they're trending: . . . ? Because, football?
7. Prostate Cancer Treatment
Why it's trending: I can only assume that it has something to do with the demographic profile of users of Yahoo! being middle-aged men with questionable health practices. . . .Considering who's reporting on their current trend list, I can't really take issue with this.
6. Jennifer Aniston
Why she's trending: There seem to be a few things going on with "Morning Show" star and famous haircut, Jennifer Aniston. She apparently has a "TikTok doppelganger" that has gone viral. She announced recently that she has cut people out of her life over their continued propagation of Covid-19 disinformation. But perhaps most importantly, her favorite underwear, the Hanky Panky thong, may soon disappear from the shelves of Nordstrom's. America mourns with her.
5: The Hoshizaki Ice Machine
Why it's trending: Because when you need ice, you need Hoshizaki!
4. Nina Dobrev
Why she's trending: Because she "shows off toned abs in red bikini." I mean, I'm all for this kind thing, but I note a clear double-standard. Nobody ever seems interested when I show off my abs in a red bikini. And lord knows I show them off often enough!
3. Elizabeth Holmes
Why she's trending: Holmes was an executive with Theranos, a biotech company that claimed revolutionary diagnostic capabilities, like the capacity to diagnose all manner of illnesses from just a single drop of blood. It was astounding! It was world-changing! It was bullshit! And now Holmes faces criminal charges for fraud. When she does go on trial, it has been decided that patients who received "erroneous" test results will be allowed to testify against her. Too bad for Holmes that Doris Duke isn't around to bump off some of the peskier witnesses.
2. Carli Lloyd
Why she's trending: She, along with teammate Megan Rapinoe, scored two goals in today's Olympic match against Australia to clinch the bronze medal for Team USA. At least they didn't lose to France!
And the number one trending topic today is.. . .
1. Tana Mongeau
Why she's trending: She's a YouTuber who apparently needs a belt.
. . .I tell ya, folks. Trends ain't quite what they used to be.
