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Showing posts with label Ice Fishing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ice Fishing. Show all posts

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Check the Crappie's Testicles for Shrinkage

In today's Not-from-The-Onion news, the governing body of the sport of professional ice-fishing (yup) is instituting drug-testing requirements as part of a long-shot campaign to be included in the Olympics.  Think about it: Olympic ice-fishing.  Just when you thought the Olympics had maxed out their capacity for dullness by adding soccer!  (Oh, the majesty of the 0-0 tie!  The thrill of the 1-0 barnburner!)

I don't think this is a great idea--the inclusion of ice-fishing, not the drug-testing.  I mean, curling is bad enough.  Although maybe Olympic officials could combine the two sports: Curlers could slide their teapots (or whatever those things are) along the ice towards the spot where ice-fishers have camped out to await nibbles.  Fishermen earn points by dodging teapots, and curlers earn points by bowling ice-fishers into the frozen lake.  That I would watch.

In all semi-seriousness, though, I think the drug-testing authorities are taking the wrong approach.  I doubt many professional ice-fishers would test positive for performance-enhancing drugs.  After all, steroids, which can increase one's aggression, would seem ill-suited for a "sport" whose key to success is patience and the ability to sit still--on ice--for long periods of time.  On the other hand, since scoring is based on the weight of the fish caught, I would think certain growth hormones could be helpful: My point is, is anyone testing the fish?