The Quest for the Perfect Sentence

OK, I'm not completely sure if this qualifies as a perfect sentence, but I found it amusing.  From today's Times, in an article about new FDA requirements for school lunches:

“Before, there was no taste and no flavor,” said Malik Barrows, a senior at Automotive High School in Brooklyn, who likes fruit but said his classmates threw away their mandatory helpings on the cafeteria floor. “Now there’s no taste, no flavor and it’s healthy, which makes it taste even worse.”

You tell 'em, Malik!

Taken 2: A Pre-Emptive Critique

I have not seen "Taken 2."  For that matter, I haven't seen "Taken 1" or, as the kids call it, "Taken."  Nevertheless, the whole premise of the new movie compels me to paraphrase Oscar Wilde: "To have a family member kidnapped once, Mr. Neeson, may be regarded as a misfortune; to have it happen again looks like carelessness."  How unlucky IS this family?  And what are the bad guys thinking, exactly: "Yeah, that whole kidnapping thing worked out so well last time, let's try THAT again."  I mean, sure, the Joker keeps trying to kill Batman over and over, but even HE employs different strategies.  And he's nuts!  I give this film three pre-emptive thumbs down.

Things He Said and Didn't Say

During last night's presidential debate, I tried my hand at live-blogging. . .or live-tweeting. . . or tweet-blogging--whatever you call it.  And I rocked!  Took to it like a duck takes to. . . whatever it is ducks take to.  Juice, maybe?  But today I'm back at my normal station to offer some final thoughts (for now) on last night's political festivities.

I suppose Romney "won" the debate, for what it's worth, which is not much.  President Obama seems to be maintaining a comfortable lead in the major swing states.  His main goal last night was simply to avoid any "47% of Americans are bloodsucking parasites"-like gaffe, and by that standard, I'd say he did fine.  That being said, there were a few things I wish he had pounced on.

Everybody is jumping all over Romney for first praising and then threatening to whack Big Bird.  (DIGRESSION: I keep envisioning Romney and Ryan as Caiaphas and Annas:: "Like Henson before him /  This Big Bird must die / Must die, must die /  This Big Bird must die /  For the sake of the Nation / This Big Bird must diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee."  And before you ask, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SvJhOO_EfQ)  EOD)  President Obama probably should have pointed out that, even cutting all funding for PBS would do approximately nothing to balance the budget.  Still, he could afford to let that one slide, as folks like America's favorite astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson can take up the fight:  "Cutting PBS support (0.012% of budget) to help balance the Federal budget is like deleting text files to make room on your 500Gig hard drive."

There were a couple of points, though, where President Obama truly needed to go for the throat.  First were Romney's repeated claims that President Obama "cut" $716 billion from Medicare.  (A) Obama "cut" $716 billion in the same way that, if your landlord decides to reduce your rent by $100 a month, you would "cut" your rent budget.  It's called savings, jackass.  Excuse me.  That's rude.  This man could be our President.  It's called savings, Governor Jackass.  (B) The exact same $716 billion "cut" was endorsed by Romney's running-mate Paul Ryan!  Maybe President Obama feels that this claim, since it has been thoroughly and repeatedly debunked, needed no response.  Except it really did!  Sure, the president's supporters know Romney's full of shit, and Romney's supporters don't care.  But those seven uncommitted voters in Ohio who are going to decide the election may NOT know it yet, and President Obama must call shenanigans loud and clear every chance he gets.

I also couldn't believe the gall of Romney's repeated assertions that he is more bipartisan than President Obama because he, Romney, had to work with an overwhelmingly Democratic legislature in Massachusetts.  Does Mitford not realize that this attests less to his bipartisanship than to that of the Bay State Democrats?  Did the leader of the Massachusetts State Senate Democrats state in the early days of the Romney administration that his number one goal was to make sure that the Mittster was a one-term governor?  Come on, Barack!  This is easy!

Anyway, there are a couple more debates, as well as a Biden-Ryan showdown, still to come.  I hope the President brings some good ol' Chicago-style brass knuckles to the next fight.

Elsewhere

No post tonight.  I was busy "tweeting" the debate @JasonBerner.  And if you're not following me on Twitter, what kind of a Sloppist are you?!?

And Now for Something Mildly Depressing. . . .

Dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago.  That's a rough estimate, of course.  It's not like scientists have confirmed that the last T. Rex kicked the bucket on October 2, 64,997,998 BC.  But consider this: If scientists had discovered dinosaurs on the day Christ was born, that estimate would have been the same.  If, 800 years before that, as Homer sang of Sirens and Cyclopses, protopaleontologists had pondered the dinosaurs' demise, they, too, would have provided that 65 million year figure, as would those early homo sapiens who decorated the caves at Lascaux.  And indeed, 100, 500, 1,000, 10,000 years hence, should mankind somehow manage to avoid obliterating itself in the meantime, that 65 million year figure will. Still. Not. Change!!!

I don't know about you, but this thought depresses me tremendously!  Happy birthday to me!

Just Another Day at Solipsist Central

SOL: I had an idea for a horror movie!

WOS: (Sigh.)

SOL: Wanna hear it?

WOS: I have a choice?

SOL: Not really.  OK. . . . "The Human Wikipede"!  It's about this deranged scientist who kidnaps people and "edits" them--adding stuff, taking stuff away. . . .Hah?

WOS: That's. . .actually. . . not bad.

SOL: Thanks!  Also--

WOS: Quit while you're ahead.

SOL: Fair enough.

. . .Or He Could Just Aim for the Dark Shirts

In light of the fact that I have spent all day today reading and commenting upon student papers, I will limit today's post to a simple plea for Jets' quarterback Mark Sanchez to seek immediate treatment for his colorblindness.  GREEN jerseys, Mark!  GREEN!!!