Saturday, January 28, 2012
. . .And It Was All a Dream
You ever have dreams where you wake up and think you're awake but you're really just dreaming that you've woken up? That was my morning. It was Saturday, so I was able to sleep in, which was lovely, but I kept dreaming that I was waking up. Let me tell you: That gets your day off to a strange start. For an hour or so after I got up, I kept making sure that I was actually awake by sticking my hand in a waffle iron. After the sixth or seventh time I did this, WOS--who by now was sufficiently convinced that something was up aside from my "normal behavior"--asked what I was doing. She pointed out that I could probably just pinch myself and achieve the same assurance of consciousness. By this time, though, I was fairly convinced that I was, in fact, awake, and after a quick jaunt to the emergency room, I was able to get on with my day, including writing today's "Solipsist." Now, time for a nap!
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday Miscellany--Friday Edition
Earlier today, the number one trending topic on Yahoo! was "Cher Not Dead." Cher's not dead?!? I didn't even know she wasn't sick!
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From the "Was-This-Headline-Really-a-Good-Idea?" file:
"Israel Senses Bluffing in Iran's Threats of Retaliation" (New York Times, January 27, 2012).
To be fair, it's better than the original idea, "Netanyahu Calls Ahmadinejad 'Giant Pussy,' Gives Him Wedgie."
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From the "Was-This-Headline-Really-a-Good-Idea?" file:
"Israel Senses Bluffing in Iran's Threats of Retaliation" (New York Times, January 27, 2012).
To be fair, it's better than the original idea, "Netanyahu Calls Ahmadinejad 'Giant Pussy,' Gives Him Wedgie."
Thursday, January 26, 2012
We Are All Insane Now
In last week's "Trendwatch" we made light of a debate among psychiatrists over whether to change the diagnostic criteria of autism. Yesterday, the Times featured an article discussing another controversy that has arisen during the process of revising the psychiatrist's Bible, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM): The debate centers on a change to the diagnostic guidelines for depression.
Currently, psychiatrists make an exception for "bereavement" when evaluating a person for depression. In other words, feeling sad because your dog dies or because Newt Gingrich may be the Republican nominee for President is considered "normal" and not a sign of mental illness. At least, not yet. Members of the American Psychiatric Association are considering eliminating the bereavement exemption, the reasoning being that this will enable psychiatrists to make more accurate--and quicker--depression diagnoses. Of course, if this change goes through, it goes one giant step further to pathologizing what most would consider normal human behavior.
Put it this way: Feeling sad when sad things happen is no more a sign of mental illness than feeling happy when good things happen. If someone finds out that the cancer diagnosis he received was a false positive and then finds out that he holds the winning $100 million lottery ticket, should he go into therapy because he can't stop smiling?
Of course, maybe the idea is that only negative feelings need to be eliminated. Sometimes it seems like mental health professionals want to eliminate sadness. A possibly laudable goal, but if the only thing that matters is people feeling good, why not just legalize crack and let people smoke themselves to death in a haze of good feelings?
If someone is so depressed that she can't work or play or even get out of bed in the morning, this may be a sign of mental illness. But if that same someone's mother just died, cut her some slack. Let her experience her grief for a while before classifying her as diseased.
Currently, psychiatrists make an exception for "bereavement" when evaluating a person for depression. In other words, feeling sad because your dog dies or because Newt Gingrich may be the Republican nominee for President is considered "normal" and not a sign of mental illness. At least, not yet. Members of the American Psychiatric Association are considering eliminating the bereavement exemption, the reasoning being that this will enable psychiatrists to make more accurate--and quicker--depression diagnoses. Of course, if this change goes through, it goes one giant step further to pathologizing what most would consider normal human behavior.
Put it this way: Feeling sad when sad things happen is no more a sign of mental illness than feeling happy when good things happen. If someone finds out that the cancer diagnosis he received was a false positive and then finds out that he holds the winning $100 million lottery ticket, should he go into therapy because he can't stop smiling?
Of course, maybe the idea is that only negative feelings need to be eliminated. Sometimes it seems like mental health professionals want to eliminate sadness. A possibly laudable goal, but if the only thing that matters is people feeling good, why not just legalize crack and let people smoke themselves to death in a haze of good feelings?
If someone is so depressed that she can't work or play or even get out of bed in the morning, this may be a sign of mental illness. But if that same someone's mother just died, cut her some slack. Let her experience her grief for a while before classifying her as diseased.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
How to Get Ahead with a Minimum of Trying
At my college, in order to use tutoring services, students need to register for one of a few different classes, depending on the subject for which they want help. The other day, an English-as-a-Second-Language (ESL) teacher came into the center where I work to remind me that the ESL tutoring class had changed from ESL107 to ESL109 (long story--not important). So, when students come into use the center, we need to make sure that they register for the proper class.
At the front desk, we have a computer where students can register for their tutoring classes--well, and any other classes, but, again, not important. On the monitor, we have stuck little labels with the names of the classes, as well as the section numbers. After the ESL teacher reminded me of the class change, I went to the front desk, where three members of my staff were doing whatever it is that they do in a mostly fruitless attempt to look busy. I explained the situation, and asked them to replace the current ESL label with a new label containing the correct information.
Two of the staffers immediately started searching for a label maker: "Do we have a label maker?" "Where's the label maker?" "What does a label maker look like?" "Have you seen the label maker?" After locating the label maker, they began a major examination of said label maker: "How do you put the label stuff in?" "Where's the label stuff?" "Do you know how to load the label stuff?" "I'm going to go look for some label stuff?"
In the fifteen minutes or so that this was going on, the third staffeer had taken a piece of paper, cut it to an appropriate size and shape, written the class information, and taped it to the monitor.
THIS is why some people get ahead in life while others . . . . Others are adorable.
At the front desk, we have a computer where students can register for their tutoring classes--well, and any other classes, but, again, not important. On the monitor, we have stuck little labels with the names of the classes, as well as the section numbers. After the ESL teacher reminded me of the class change, I went to the front desk, where three members of my staff were doing whatever it is that they do in a mostly fruitless attempt to look busy. I explained the situation, and asked them to replace the current ESL label with a new label containing the correct information.
Two of the staffers immediately started searching for a label maker: "Do we have a label maker?" "Where's the label maker?" "What does a label maker look like?" "Have you seen the label maker?" After locating the label maker, they began a major examination of said label maker: "How do you put the label stuff in?" "Where's the label stuff?" "Do you know how to load the label stuff?" "I'm going to go look for some label stuff?"
In the fifteen minutes or so that this was going on, the third staffeer had taken a piece of paper, cut it to an appropriate size and shape, written the class information, and taped it to the monitor.
THIS is why some people get ahead in life while others . . . . Others are adorable.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
A Bit of Snark for No Good Reason
Congratulations to all the Academy Award nominees. This year's crop of contenders for the Academy's highest honor includes "The Help," "Tree of Life," and "War Horse," which must be some kind of record for the highest percentage of Best Picture nominees that I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to see. Maybe Eddie Murphy feels the same way?
Monday, January 23, 2012
HEALTHCARE SOLVED!!!!
WASHINGTON--In an historic decision that will likely end once and for all the healthcare crisis in the United States, congressional leaders and the White House today announced that they had reached an agreement on a single-payer system. That single payer is Mr. Randall McMurtry of Clark Fork, Idaho.
Mr. McMurtry, 48, a forklift operator at a sardine plant, expressed shock and dismay when told that he would be responsible for some $2 trillion per year to ensure basic healthcare for every man, woman, and child in the United States. He continued spluttering even after receiving assurances that administrative savings generated by the single-payer system would likely lower actual costs to something closer to $1.5 trillion. Congressional proposals to exempt Mr. McMurtry from responsibility for Wyoming and Delaware may lower the final bill even more.
Mitt Romney immediately attacked the proposal as just another example of Obamanamian socialism run amok, and Newt Gingrich bit the head off of a kitten.
Mr. McMurtry, 48, a forklift operator at a sardine plant, expressed shock and dismay when told that he would be responsible for some $2 trillion per year to ensure basic healthcare for every man, woman, and child in the United States. He continued spluttering even after receiving assurances that administrative savings generated by the single-payer system would likely lower actual costs to something closer to $1.5 trillion. Congressional proposals to exempt Mr. McMurtry from responsibility for Wyoming and Delaware may lower the final bill even more.
Mitt Romney immediately attacked the proposal as just another example of Obamanamian socialism run amok, and Newt Gingrich bit the head off of a kitten.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
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