Somebody's Been Watching Too Many Movies

A couple of weeks ago, a woman had her iPhone snatched out of her hand on a busy street corner in Flushing, New York (not far from where the Solipsist used to live, in fact--coincidence?  You decide).  Not a particularly newsworthy event, to be sure: Cellphone theft--particularly smartphone theft--has become ubiquitous.  A front-page article in Thursday's paper focused on this ever-growing trend and implicitly blamed phone manufacturers for not taking all reasonable measures to make phones less attractive to thieves.  But this particular theft did not unfold in the usual manner.

The woman whose phone was stolen quickly found a police officer who happened to have an iPhone of his own.  He accessed the "Find my iPhone" app and discovered that the thief was still in the immediate vicinity.  He jumped into his car and raced to the supposed location of the thief.  The thief was no longer there, but he was still close--and up.  See, he had apparently jumped onto the number 7, the elevated train that runs between Flushing and Times Square.  So the policeman jumped back in his car and proceeded--sirens blaring--to do his best Popeye Doyle imitation, screaming down Roosevelt Avenue in pursuit of the suspect riding the rails above. Ultimately, the police contacted the train's conductor, who kept the doors closed while the police went through the cars, looking for the fleeing suspect.  He was found and arrested and the woman got her phone back.

I can't help but wonder if this is the sort of thing we should be celebrating.  I mean, I'm sure the woman is happy that she doesn't have to go through all the trouble of re-loading Angry Birds, but do we really want policemen tearing down crowded city streets--and trust me, Roosevelt Avenue is a VERY crowded city street--in pursuit of stolen consumer electronics?  Is it really worth the risk to human life?  Sure, we've accepted the concept that iPhones are worth more than the lives of, say, a few thousand Chinese laborers, but we're talking about American citizens here--even if they do live in Queens!

More Musings

I have heard people complain that my posts lack depth.  A fair enough charge.  But they do possess width--especially if I play with the margins.

Apologies

I'm sorry about all the brief posts lately.  I'm sure some of you are thinking that your old pal the Solipsist is just phoning it in these days.  You'd be right.  I mean, I'm not literally phoning it in.  That would be silly: My typing fingers just will not respond to the telephone, no matter how many times I try calling them.  But I have been quite lazy.  I think I'm still adjusting to the move to new headquarters.  I almost feel jet-lagged, despite the fact that I moved all of fifteen miles away from the previous Solipsist Central.  I'm still adjusting to the commuting life, for example.  It's taken me two weeks to internalize the fact that the traffic report on the radio is no longer just an annoying obstacle standing in the way of the next Mumford and Sons song (and, seriously, folks: There ARE other bands out there, y'know?)--the traffic report is now something that has actual bearing on my life.

I've got about four weeks left in the semester.  I'm figuring that, if nothing else, the end of May should see at least a slight uptick in energy.  And in the meantime, I've no doubt that the Republican Party will engage in something unbelievably offensive soon enough.  That should be good for an energetic column or two.

Great Moments in Dubious Editing: Digital Layout Edition

On the left-hand side of the page:

"The military’s response to the hunger strike has revived complaints by medical ethics groups that say doctors should not force-feed prisoners who decide not to eat, reviving a similar clash over Guantánamo detainees from the Bush administration.

"Last week, the president of the American Medical Association, Dr. Jeremy A. Lazarus, wrote a letter to Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel saying that any doctor who participated in forcing a prisoner to eat against his will was violating 'core ethical values of the medical profession.'"

To the immediate right of these paragraphs: A link to a video about, "The fastest way to caramelize garlic."

Snicker

When Anthony Weiner was forced to resign from Congress in disgrace, after news broke that he had engaged in salacious Twitter relationships with numerous women, the scandal was greeted with glee by the tabloid-late night comedy complex, due in no small part to the irresistible connotations of the Congressman's last name.  I can only imagine Anthony's embarrassment.  Still, I wonder how much it bothered him, given the fact that, after resigning, he formed a consulting business named "Woolf Weiner Associates."  The man is just asking for it.

Monday Miscellany

Kudos to Jason Collins, the NBA player who made history today by becoming the first active player in a major American team sport (no, hockey does not count) to come out as gay.  Frankly, I'm guessing he just wanted to beat Colin Kaepernick to the punch, but good for Collins nonetheless.

Sequester Fester

Yesterday, I discussed the offensively misplaced--though frankly unsurprising--priorities of the United States Congress, which took swift action to remedy the negative impact of the budgetary sequester on air travelers while ignoring legislation that might substantially improve--if not save--the lives of more needy Americans.  As I thought more about the issue, though, I realized how the events of the past week also represent a political fuck-up (technical term) for the Obama Administration and Democrats in general.

President Obama, et al, had originally decreed that no funding would be "restored" to sequestered agencies on a piecemeal basis.  The whole point of across-the-board budget cuts was to inflict pain on everybody: Republican and Democrat, liberal and conservative, sane and Bachmann.  Obama figured that, once the negative effects of sequestration trickled down--or up, as the case may be--to the general population, disgruntled constituents would pressure their elected representatives to come to an agreement on a far-reaching and equitable deficit reduction plan, ideally one that would include a mix of tax increases and spending cuts.  By alleviating the pain of air travelers--while doing nothing to solve long-term fiscal problems--Congressional supporters of a long-term solution have effectively lost--or at least diminished--their leverage against those (read: Republican true-believers) who are more or less happy with the current situation.  Indeed, this is why GOP Congressional leaders are largely claiming victory today.

One thing to note about what exactly happened in Congress, though: No new funds were given to the Transportation Department to support the return of furloughed workers.  All Congress did was give the Secretary of Transportation permission to move money from one area (airport improvements, I believe) to another.  In the long run, then, the same problems will likely arise: Either this money will run out, or airports in disrepair will lead to delays (at best!) somewhere down the line.

Where Democrats screwed up politically was when they initially said that agencies couldn't simply shift money from one "pot" to another.  While I understand the intent behind this rule--to force the sequester's consequences on the majority of Americans as quickly as possible--the rule itself defies common sense.  When a household is short on cash in, say, its primary checking account, it will not declare bankruptcy if it still has money in savings (indeed, it won't be allowed to declare bankruptcy).  While I know that comparisons between a household and a country are of limited accuracy and value, they have a logical (and thus political) appeal.  In the face of lengthy delays on runways across the country, Republicans could make a simple appeal: "Not only does Big Government take too much of your money, but Big Brother Obama won't even let federal agencies spend the money they have!"  And they kind of have a point.

Of course, all the Republicans (and the Democrats who voted with them) have accomplished is a temporary reprieve.  Eventually, all these agencies will run out of money for real, and eventually people will start to feel the pain of the sequester in earnest.  Still, it's upsetting to watch GOP Congressmen disingenuously claim to have the interests of average Americans in mind as they "restore" funds that were never really gone in the first place.