Of Mice and Zombies

Coming soon to a game store near you: "Dante's 'Inferno,'" the video game. This is not a joke. A tie-in edition of the medieval classic features the game's scythe-wielding avatar on the cover. Virgil better watch his punk-ass.

In what seems an unnecessary bit of curmudgeonry (curmudgeonitude?), Rob Bricken of ToplessRobot.com decries the tie-in edition's cover as "a gross misrepresentation of the original work." He continues, "They're not interested in getting kids into literature--they're not looking to do anything except sell some books to dumb kids" ("Abandon All Poetry, But Enter Hell with an Attitude").

Mr. Bricken is right, of course. But should we really complain about kids being suckered into picking up Dante?

More to the point, we wonder what's next for Electronic Arts, the makers of the Inferno video game?

"Quixote! The Curse of La Mancha": In this steampunk-style first-person shooter, the evil Windmill Corporation is extending its baleful influence throughout medieval Spain. Don Alonso "El Falcon" Quijano is called out of retirement to defend the realm. By killing zombies.

"The Albertine Conspiracy: A Remembrance of Things Past": The year is 2546. The invalid Marcel is given "the madeleine," an experimental regenerative medication. The drug not only rejuvenates his body, but also stimulates a flood of repressed memories, leading him on a quest to right the wrongs of his past. And kill zombies.

"Jean-Paul Sartre's 'Being and Nothingness'": Hell is other people. . . especially when they're zombies!

(While the above is meant as satire, WOS points out that SOMEBODY will probably think these are good ideas. We're fine with that. We just ask for credit. . . and 10% of gross earnings.)

(Image from Amazon.com)

The Blogger in the Rye

Just a couple of points.

First, the Solipsist has done it again! You're welcome! No sooner did we kvetch about the fact that Blogger.com had not changed its "Blog of Note" for over two weeks--providing the blog-reading public with an overabundance of opportunities to read about Scandinavian bicyclists--than the offending (and, frankly, offensive) blog was replaced! Sadly, not with a truly noteworthy blog like "The Solipsist"--or even a slightly-less-worthy-but-still-appealing-in-an-expatriate-American-gone-Teutonic-kind-of-way blog like "Our Feet Are the Same"--but with something that calls itself "floatingsheep," which we are not even inclined to hyperlink! (Hey, they're the "Blog of Note"--they don't need the press!)

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In other news, legendary hermit J. D. Salinger died Wednesday at the age of 91. At least, that's what "they" want us to believe. We have it on good authority that the man died in 2003; the body was only discovered Wednesday.

What? Too soon? Hey, you embrace crazy, you get what you get.

Noteworthy? Really? (A Brief Post)

What's up with "Blogs on Note"? Since January 15, the featured blog has been "Cycle Chic from Copenhagen." January 15! We never realized there was such fascination with Danish bicyclists.

Did They Even CONSIDER a Checkered Flag?

Public officials of cities with teams competing in the Super Bowl or other big-time sporting events often make friendly wagers. The stakes are usually items famously associated with the cities involved. For example, awhile back, when the New York Mets played the Houston Astros in the National League playoffs, the mayor of Houston sent the mayor of New York a pair of cowboy boots when the Mets won; we forget what the mayor of New York had wagered against the (extraordinarily unlikely) event of a Mets loss--perhaps a coronary-inducing amount of delicatessen foods. Or a pigeon.

At any rate, the mayors of New Orleans and Indianapolis are continuing the tradition. Mayor Ray Nagin of New Orleans has stated that, should the Saints lose the Super Bowl, he will send Indy Mayor Greg Ballard CDs of New Orleans' jazz musicians, along with a selection of Mardi Gras foods (mmmm. . . .the mind slavers at the thought of begniers and King Cakes and muffelettas and gumbo and . . . .we're hungry!!!!); for his part, Mayor Ballard has declared that, if the Colts lose, he will send Mayor Nagin. . . shrimp cocktail.



You know, that world-famous Indianapolis shrimp cocktail. Because nothing says land-locked, Midwestern cowtown like shrimp cocktail!



In fairness, when it comes to cool swag, it would be tough for any city to compete with the Big Easy. New Orleans has food and music and a rich heterogeneous culture comprised of French, African, Native American, and other elements. Indianapolis has. . . well, Indianapolis has the Indianapolis Colts. By way of Baltimore.



We wonder if Mayor Nagin has considered just asking the Saints to throw the game. Otherwise, in the spirit of civic camaraderie, he may have to publicly sample the Indianan seafood. Is a Saints victory really worth that?

(Image from Indystar.com)

Because Fascists Love Infrastructure (A Brief Post)

A stretch of highway in Colorado has been "adopted" by a neo-Nazi party. Many are outraged by this, but we have no particular problem. Nazis are known for their skill in keeping highways clean--particularly from contamination by Jews. Still, from a First Amendment perspective, it's a losing battle to fight them on this; adopt-a-highway programs do help states defray the costs of road maintenance; and let's face it: Neo-Nazi money is as good as any other money.

Yes, yes, a Jew is willing to condone neo-Nazis as long as they have money. Insert joke here.

Here's to Your Health VI

Speaking of healthcare reform, there's a showdown in New York between Continuum Health Partners--a hospital chain that includes such presitigious facilities as Beth Israel Medical Center and St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital Center--and UnitedHealthcare, a giant insurance conglomerates ("Insurer Steps up Fight to Control Health Care Cost"). The major sticking point in contract negotiations seems to be UnitedHealthcare's requirement that hospitals notify the insurer within 24 hours of admitting a patient. Should the hospitals fail to do this, they may be charged a penalty of up to 50% of the claim.

The insurer claims that expedient notification will allow it to "improve the quality of care and cut costs by allowing case managers to jump in right away"--and presumably stop greedy doctors from performing frivolous procedures like emergency appendectomies.

But seriously, folks, let's give UnitedHealthcare the benefit of the doubt--let's say they are truly committed to cutting costs (which may be true--we imagine they've saved billions just by leaving the space out of the name UnitedHealthcare). Let's further assume that 24-hour notification will allow the company to cut costs without sacrificing patient care. If all this is true, then what's the big deal?

Hospital executives claim that 50% is an exorbitant penalty for a relatively minor inconvenience. We agree, but it seems an easy enough penalty to avoid. Hospital executives claim that 24 hours is too short a timeframe to mandate. We fail to see why.

We confess to a severely limited knowledge of computers, but how hard is it to program a computer to send an automatic notification to UnitedHealthcare whenever one of their clients is admitted? Visa is alerted immediately whenever we buy a pack of Chiclets; how complicated would it be to install similar programming at major hospitals? Heck, if UnitedHealthcare is so concerned about cost-cutting, they could even help pay for the upgrades.

We expect someone to get back to us immediately, either to explain the serious flaw in our logic (and no cynical comments about how insurers aren't really interested in patient care either!) or to thank us for solving yet another of the world's intractable problems.

A Good Ride (A Brief Post)

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

This afternoon, the improbable championship run of the New York Jets came to a somewhat predictable end in Indianapolis. A little too much Peyton Manning, a little too little offense. Still, no complaints here. It was surprising that the Jets made it to the playoffs at all, much less won two games and held a lead into the 3rd quarter of the conference championship. We take comfort in the fact that, technically, this was Mark Sanchez's senior year of college, and he improved steadily throughout the season: Nothing but upside there. Add this year of experience, bring back the overpowering defense and running game, maybe work out a little upgrade in the receiving corps, and 2010 should be an interesting season.

And to our various readers jeering in their various locales (you know who you are): How did things turn out for the Dolphins, Steelers, and Texans? Ha!

(Image from First and Ten Sports Den)