So That's Where That Comes From. . . .

The other day, on my drive to work, I happened to glance to my left as I was going through an intersection.  I saw a chicken racing across the street!!  And all I could think was, "Why?"

The Best Medicine

So as I was saying, yesterday I went with FOS to see "Old Jews Telling Jokes," currently playing Off-Broadway.  I don't imagine a synopsis is necessary, although I must protest that two of the cast members, Dara Cameron and Chuck Rea, are not what anyone would call "old."  Is a little truth-in-titling too much to ask?  Still, the show was highly entertaining: Ninety minutes of borscht-belt humor delivered with perfect timing.  Anyone--any Jew, anyway--past bar-mitzah age has probably heard some or all of these jokes before, but they still retain their charm.  One of my personal favorites:

Old Man Rabinowitz is getting ready to retire after forty years in the hardware business.  He tells his son, "Yitzhak, I am going to retire.  The business is now yours.  I know you will continue the fine tradition of Rabinowitz hardware."  With that, Old Man Rabinowitz leaves the store for the last time, and within a week he is down in Florida, enjoying his retirement.

A few months go by, and Rabinowitz decides to fly back north to visit his son.  On the way from the airport, he sees a gigantic billboard.  On the billboard is a picture of Jesus Christ on the cross, with the caption, "THEY USED RABINOWITZ NAILS!!!"

Well, you can imagine, Old Man Rabinowitz nearly has a heart attack right there in the cab.  When he gets back to the hardware store, he grabs his son by the shoulders, starts shaking him, and yells at him, "You, Schmuck! Are you crazy with that billboard?!? You can't say 'They used Rabinowitz Nails!' Not only will no one ever shop here again, but the goyim will run us out of town! I can't believe you could be so stupid!  You need to fix this!  I'm going back down to Florida before my head explodes, but I'm going to come back, and you better have made this right!"

Well, a few weeks later, after recuperating in Florida, Rabinowitz returns to see his son again.  He's in the cab from the airport, approaching the billboard.  He can barely stand to look, but as they pass he sees the new sign.  Now, the billboard shows a limp and lifeless body crumpled at the foot of a cross.  The caption: "THEY DIDN'T USE RABINOWITZ NAILS!!!"

Nu?  Anyway, if you like that kind of thing, there's a lot to enjoy in the show.

Insofar as "Old Jews" has a deeper meaning or a "message," it's that there is no such thing as an inappropriate time to tell jokes.  Maybe it's a "Jewish thing," but I think they're right.  Many is the time that a gentile friend or acquaintance has said something to the effect of, "How can you make a joke at a time like this?"  Even WOS has, on occasion, reprimanded me for "misplaced" levity.  But to the question, "How can you joke about [insert serious or somber topic]?" the best answer I can give is, "How can you not?" 

Sure, some topics are "not funny."  Child molestation is not funny.  The Holocaust and 9/11 are not funny.  Then again, just because something is not funny does not mean one cannot joke about it.  The Battle of Agincourt is not funny, but only the French refrain from joking about it--and they refrain from joking about everything.  Olives are not funny.  Indeed, most things in the world are not inherently funny, including--perhaps, especially--the things about which we most commonly joke: Just think about how many jokes begin, "A guy walks into a doctor's office. . . "  Life often presents us with a stark choice: Laugh or cry.  A good cry can be refreshing, but for the most part laughter is better.

Easter

In honor of Easter, we have resurrected our old format--or something pretty close. We also thought we'd share one of our favorite jokes:

Old Man Rabinowitz owned a hardware store. As he was getting on in years (what? You think his parents named him "Old Man"?), he realized it would soon be time to pass the business on to his son. He decided to give the young man a trial run.

"All right, Boychik," he said. "I'm going to take a little vacation. I'm going down to Florida for a couple weeks. You do whatever you think is best for the store while I'm gone."

"You got it, Pop."

So Old Man Rabinowitz went off to Florida. Two weeks later, he came back. On the way home from the airport, riding in the back of a taxicab, he saw a billboard. On the billboard, twenty-feet high, was a picture of Jesus Christ on the cross. At the bottom, in huge letters, the sign read, "THEY USED RABINOWITZ NAILS!"

Well, you can imagine the old man's reaction. He nearly had a heart attack in the cab. He told the driver to take him to the hardware store immediately. He found his son and grabbed him by his collar. "What are you thinking?!?" he screamed. "You're going to get us closed down. Ha! Closed down if we're lucky! You're going to get us killed! You can't say 'They used Rabinowitz nails'! Are you some kind of idiot?!?"

"I'm sorry, Pop. I just figured, y'know, with Easter and all, that it would be a good promotion."

Old Man Rabinowitz looked heavenward. "'A good promotion,' he says. My son is a moron!" He took a moment. "OK, look. I don't know what to say. You're obviously not ready to take over for me."

"Pop, please! Give me another chance!"

Old Man Rabinowitz thought. "Ach! I'm so upset right now. . . . All right, look. One more chance. I'm going to go visit your Uncle Shmuel in Chicago for a couple of weeks. When I come back, we'll talk. And what's the first thing you're going to do?"

"I know, Pop, I know. The sign is coming down."

So Old Man Rabinowitz went to Chicago. Two weeks later, he came back. In the backseat of the cab, he nervously looked out the window. As the billboard rose into view, he gasped. He saw a cross with a crumpled body at the foot of it. In big letters at the bottom, he read:

THEY DIDN'T USE RABINOWITZ NAILS!