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Saturday, April 21, 2012

This Is Why They Hate Us

"Us" being liberal arts collegiate types, and "This" being a course at New York University called "Baseball as a Road to God."  As you roll your eyes and wonder what has become of academic rigor, let me state for the record that the course is not as frivolous as it sounds.

Well, OK, it's exactly as frivolous as it sounds, but, in fairness, that's no more frivolous than many another course at any number of colleges and universities across our nation.  The fact is, almost any humanities course--whether focusing on the plays of Shakespeare or the philosophy of "Star Trek" (Georgetown University)--serves an important purpose beyond the superficially "fluffy" nature of the content--the point of the humanities being to teach people how to think critically and apply higher levels of reasoning to abstract topics.  Indeed, I would go so far as to say that no topic is inherently inappropriate or too insignificant to form a basis for critical inquiry.  Then again, I've written three blog posts on Abilify commercials, so mine may not be the most unbiased viewpoint.

I love baseball, and I am an NYU alumnus, so I don't begrudge the university's offering this class. And if students (or their parents) don't mind shelling out a couple thousand bucks to weigh the relative merits of the beatification of Joe DiMaggio or Pope John Paul II, more power to 'em. The only true outrage of "Baseball as a Road to God" may be found in this quote:
Around Dr. Sexton sat 18 undergraduates, some religious and some not, some bleacher diehards and some not . . . .It is the sort of course in which the teaching assistants go by the angelic designation “Celestials” and discussion sections are named for Derek Jeter and Willie Mays among other diamond luminaries.
The man has 18 students? And he needs TEACHING ASSISTANTS?

Friday, April 20, 2012

Twenty Questions Medical Style

Yesterday, I saw a commercial for a medication.  I don't remember exactly what the product was--doesn't really matter--but I was struck by the disclaimer.  The announcer advised people to tell their doctors about all medications they were currently taking, "even medications for migraines."

Leaving aside for a moment the question of why someone would have to tell their doctors about all medications they are taking when it is presumably their doctors who have prescribed said medications, I was struck by that "even," suggesting, as it does, that people would be somehow disinclined to reveal migraine medications to their doctors.  I never suspected migraine meds were so scandalous.  For that matter, why would I want to hide any medication from my doctor?

"OK, Solipsist, so I see the medications you're currently taking. . . Any others?"

"Ooooh," I reply, a sly grin on my face and a twinkle in my eye, "Maaay-be."

. . .

"Yes?"

"Well, I'll give you a hint.  It comes in caplet form, and possible side effects include sore joints and hip dysplasia."

"Is it. . . Zantac?"

"Nope!"

"Celebrex?"

"No.  Strike two!"

"OK. . . OK. . . Can I get another hint?"

"Hmm. .  .All right.  The FDA is conducting an investigation of this drug's potentially fatal interactions with gelatin."

"Oh!  Klavertrazine!"

"Oh, no, doctor!  I'm sorry.  We were looking for 'danprazadol.'  Danprazadol."

"Damn!  I knew that one!"

"Well, better luck next time."

Thursday, April 19, 2012

In the Line of Fire

Speaking of the whole Secret Service-Colombitute scandal, what exactly is the big deal?  I mean, sure, Secret Service agents--highly-trained bodyguards for the leader of the free world--acting like horny fratboys on spring break is probably not an image that the agency wants to promote.  At the same time, though, from what I've seen so far, the participants were off-duty and engaging in what is, at least in that part of Colombia, a legal activity.  The truly scandalous part of this story is that it only came to light because one agent was too cheap to spring for the nightly rate.  And if his protective detail can't afford to pay for hookers--well, that's really more Obama's fault than anything else, no?

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

More Great Moments in Questionable Editing

From an article in today's Times about the Secret Service-Colombian prostitutes scandal:
Senator Susan Collins of Maine, the senior Republican on the Senate Homeland Security Committee, who was also briefed on the investigation by Mr. Sullivan, said a total of 20 to 21 local women were brought into the sprawling beachfront complex called the Hotel Caribe. She said that some of the women accompanied Secret Service agents and that others escorted members of the military, which is conducting its own investigation.
See it? A "total of 20 to 21 local women"?  I get that there may be some uncertainty as to the total number of Colombian prostitutes--or Colombitutes (Prostilombians?)--involved, but shouldn't that be "20 or 21 local women"?  Or might the Secret Service somehow have smuggled in, say, 20.8 women?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad E-Tailer?

If I remember anything from microeconomics class--and it's by no means certain I do--it's that, in an efficient marketplace, the price of an item should be equal to the marginal cost of producing that item.  OK, that may not be right, but I do remember that price does relate very closely to marginal cost.  And that raises the question of how price is determined when marginal cost is essentially zero.

A recent Justice Department lawsuit accused a group of publishers of price-fixing.  Mainly because they were fixing prices.  To be precise, the publishers were taking advantage of a new(ish) device platform--the iPad--to allow themselves to set prices for e-books.  Pricing was always something of a publisher's prerogative, but this has been challenged by Amazon.com's dominance in the e-book retailing field.  Amazon has reduced the upper-level price of most books to $9.99, and publishers fear this will irreparably damage their profitability.  Moreover, while consumers may at first appreciate the lower prices enforced by Amazon, they may not be so happy if such a pricing strategies eliminates competition and leaves Amazon as the sole arbiter of how much books should cost.

But how much should books cost?  Particularly e-books, for which the marginal cost of "printing" another copy is effectively nothing?

I believe firmly in the principle of paying the writer.  So, to the extent that authors are paid by publishing houses, I don't want publishers to go out of business.  Publishers also provide vital services to authors beyond the paying of advances and royalties, and these services cost money.  Some of these costs will likely decrease as we move firmly into the age of electronic publishing: Books won't necessarily need to be printed or bound in large quantities, nor will massive shipments need to be delivered across the country and world.  Other costs, of course, will still remain: Even e-books need to be edited and promoted, for example.

But do these services depend on the existence of large publishing houses? Publishing is moving more and more towards becoming what it perhaps should always have been: a completely author-driven process. People can already self-publish their books through Amazon or other sites. And if Joe Schmo, who has devoted his life to the study of boomerangs, can find his readership--small though it may be--why would any author need a large publisher.  Presumably "name brand" authors could set up "subscription services." Pay $5 a month to have unlimited access to "JKRowling.com": Read the latest chapters of your favorite authors' newest work as it's produced. Free-lance online editors and marketers would assume the tasks previously concentrated in the big publishing houses.


Amazon may pose a huge challenge to the traditional model, but that doesn't mean the model must be preserved.  Ultimately, as much as the internet is a threat to the "standard" model of literary distribution (and, indeed, the distribution of artistic production in general), this could turn out to be a time of great opportunity for these industries.  And if the real  producers--the writers and other artists--take proper advantage of these opportunities, the internet could prove the greatest boon to literary production since the printing press.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Monday Miscellany

PREVIOUSLY, ON "GAME OF THRONES"

Are you kidding me?  "Previously"?  You expect a one-minute recap?  There's, like, 192 principal characters, comprising 5 kingdoms--well, maybe six if you count the Dothraki, but they're a whole 'nother story--and each kingdom is plotting against at least two other kingdoms. . . and then there's dragons and this brotherhood of knights protecting everybody else from all kinds of monsters that we haven't even seen yet a-a-a-and a dwarf. . . .

Look, just rent the DVD's, and check back with me when you're all caught up, OK?

*********************************************************************

Who was this Phillips guy, and why did he have to complicate screwdrivers for the rest of us?

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Continuing Adventures of a Blue Blob

In commercials for the anti-depressant Abilify--admittedly, I've become a bit obsessive on this topic--Depression has been represented as sometimes a blue blob and sometimes a blue bathrobe but always something adorable--more a comforting companion than a debilitating mental illness.  Indeed, the "blue-bathrobe Depression" looked so much like Cookie Monster that I worry whether toddlers everywhere started manifesting depressive symptoms just to get their hands on the cuddly medication.

Therefore, it came as something of a relief today to see a new commercial wherein Depression takes the form of a sentient umbrella--albeit one that causes rain to fall WITHIN its confines.  Yes, Depression is still blue and googly-eyed, but one would feel not quite so guilt-stricken about eliminating--or at least diminishing the power of--an umbrella.

One other interesting element of the Abilify commercials: In every one, the depression sufferer finds her way to a doctor's office (where Depression sits next to her and dutifully joins her in taking notes).  During the consultation, the doctor pulls down a screen to show the patient a filmstrip--featuring the doctor him or herself speaking to the patient!  I keep waiting for the patient to say something like, "Uh, why are you showing me this film?  Couldn't you just TELL me this stuff?"

Yeah. . . THAT's the part that doesn't add up.