A bit of advice for members of Solipsist Nation planning trips abroad. Avoid flying around Honduras--or any other South American nation--in any sort of small plane. In fact, maybe just avoid those countries altogether. Those guys are nuts!
Over the summer, Honduran Air Force pilots shot down a small plane over international waters after the civilian plane's pilot failed to respond to repeated messages and even warning shots. The Hondurans feared the small plane belonged to drug smugglers, so they took aggressive action. Was the small plane carrying drugs? Were the pilots smugglers desperately attempting to avoid capture? Terrorists bent on wreaking destruction on, let's say, Miami's streets? Or perhaps innocent civilians with radio trouble? Who knows? And this isn't the first time something like this has happened, either.
This story proves nothing so much as the fact that the never-ending war on drugs has been a colossal failure. I have no intention of ever running for political office, so I would like now to extinguish any possibility of election by stating, for the record, that drugs should be legalized. All drugs. Marijuana, sure, but also heroin, cocaine, crack, and whatever narcotic next makes its way into our nation's bloodstream.
I know, I know: Drugs are dangerous. Drugs kill. Drugs destroy brain cells. But motorcycles are dangerous. Kitchen knives kill. "Jersey Shore" destroys brain cells. Any argument you can reasonably make in favor of the continued criminalization of drugs can reasonably be made in favor of the criminalization of many other things as well. As for the decriminalization of drugs, any number of arguments can be made in favor of that, too: one of the strongest being that decriminalization would allow the United States to cut ties with psychotic regimes that think shooting down mysterious planes is an appropriate strategy to protect the world from the theoretical danger of getting high.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Miscellany
It's been a long week, what with midterms to grade, debates to tweet, Iranian hostages to free. (That might not have been me. I get me and Ben Affleck confused all the time.) I don't have much to report on today, so I'll simply share with you this headline that is, apparently, not from "The Onion":
"Lion Adopts Baby Antelope after Eating Its Mother"
I know not whether to kvell or cringe.
"Lion Adopts Baby Antelope after Eating Its Mother"
I know not whether to kvell or cringe.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Go Hawks!
Yesterday was "Transfer Day" at my college. Representatives from four-year schools from Berkeley to Columbia (to say nothing of Colombia, of which we WILL say nothing, as there were no representatives from that country's institutions of higher learning) descended upon the quad to peddle their wares to prospective enrollees. As part of the festivities, our college faculy and staff were encouraged to wear items of clothing from their alma maters.
Well, you know me, I'm all about the school spirit. I immediately went scrounging through my drawers, closets, storage boxes, desperately trying to find something--anything--to wear. Finally, I found, buried in piles of unidentifiable detritus in the back of my car, a battered baseball cap from the Wagner School at New York Unitversity. I was able to REPRESENT! I was of course hopelessly outnumbered by people REPRESENTIN' from Berkeley, but that's neither here nor there.
I must say, though, I felt a little sad. While I enjoyed my time at NYU, and have no complaints about the education I received there, if any school may be said to be my alma mater--my soul-mother--it's surely Hunter College (City University of New York). That was my spiritual home for over five years, through both undergraduate and graduate days. That was the school that, for better or worse, largely made me the person, teacher, and blogger I am today. I thus felt there was an element of false-advertising in my presumend endorsement of NYU.
Granted, not many of our students would be likely to transfer to Hunter College. Probably not many will transfer to NYU either. The point, though, is that whether they go there or not, most people have heard of NYU. The same cannot necessarily be said about Hunter, which is really a shame: It's every bit as "good" as any of its more famous peer institutions, and considerably more affordable than most. I'd unreservedly recommend it to anyone wrestling with college decisions.
I seriously need to get myself some Hunter swag, though.
Well, you know me, I'm all about the school spirit. I immediately went scrounging through my drawers, closets, storage boxes, desperately trying to find something--anything--to wear. Finally, I found, buried in piles of unidentifiable detritus in the back of my car, a battered baseball cap from the Wagner School at New York Unitversity. I was able to REPRESENT! I was of course hopelessly outnumbered by people REPRESENTIN' from Berkeley, but that's neither here nor there.
I must say, though, I felt a little sad. While I enjoyed my time at NYU, and have no complaints about the education I received there, if any school may be said to be my alma mater--my soul-mother--it's surely Hunter College (City University of New York). That was my spiritual home for over five years, through both undergraduate and graduate days. That was the school that, for better or worse, largely made me the person, teacher, and blogger I am today. I thus felt there was an element of false-advertising in my presumend endorsement of NYU.
Granted, not many of our students would be likely to transfer to Hunter College. Probably not many will transfer to NYU either. The point, though, is that whether they go there or not, most people have heard of NYU. The same cannot necessarily be said about Hunter, which is really a shame: It's every bit as "good" as any of its more famous peer institutions, and considerably more affordable than most. I'd unreservedly recommend it to anyone wrestling with college decisions.
I seriously need to get myself some Hunter swag, though.
Monday, October 8, 2012
BEST. WEBSITE. EVER!
Notice anything different about today's post? You probably don't, but I do--or I will in about 80 words. Tonight's musings, you see, are being composed not in their usual venue at Blogger.com, but rather on the Best. Website. Ever: "Written? Kitten!" (http://writtenkitten.net).
The site is exactly what it sounds like. OK, maybe that requires a bit more explanation. If you go to "Written? Kitten!" you will find an empty text box. Start writing in the box. After writing 100 words, you will be rewarded with a picture of a kitten! And as if that weren't enough, every 100 words thereafter--OH, I JUST GOT MY FIRST KITTEN OF THE DAY! OOOOOOHHHHH, IT'S A WIDDLE OWANGE OOGY-WOOGY WIF BLUE EYES AND A WIDDLE PINK NOSE!!!!
Ahem.
Sorry.
As I was saying, every 100 words thereafter, you will receive a "fresh kitten." If this isn't a cure for writer's block, I don't know what is. And consider the pedagogical possibilities. I'm thinking of requiring my students to type all their assignments on this site. "I'm sorry, Johnny. But I wanted at least a five-kitten essay. This is three kittens at most."
One caveat: You cannot save work on "Written? Kitten," so you need to copy and paste your work to a word processing program or e-mail every kitten or so. Still, it's more than worth any such minor inconvenience. Thanks to Ms. Brandy Gibson for introducing me to this site, a site that could go a long way towards making the world a better place.
The site is exactly what it sounds like. OK, maybe that requires a bit more explanation. If you go to "Written? Kitten!" you will find an empty text box. Start writing in the box. After writing 100 words, you will be rewarded with a picture of a kitten! And as if that weren't enough, every 100 words thereafter--OH, I JUST GOT MY FIRST KITTEN OF THE DAY! OOOOOOHHHHH, IT'S A WIDDLE OWANGE OOGY-WOOGY WIF BLUE EYES AND A WIDDLE PINK NOSE!!!!
Ahem.
Sorry.
As I was saying, every 100 words thereafter, you will receive a "fresh kitten." If this isn't a cure for writer's block, I don't know what is. And consider the pedagogical possibilities. I'm thinking of requiring my students to type all their assignments on this site. "I'm sorry, Johnny. But I wanted at least a five-kitten essay. This is three kittens at most."
One caveat: You cannot save work on "Written? Kitten," so you need to copy and paste your work to a word processing program or e-mail every kitten or so. Still, it's more than worth any such minor inconvenience. Thanks to Ms. Brandy Gibson for introducing me to this site, a site that could go a long way towards making the world a better place.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Thursday Trendwatch--Sunday Edition
10. HORMONE THERAPY
Why it's trending: Well, when has hormone therapy been anything other than trendy? All the Melky's are doing it! (Too soon?) Specifically, though, researchers have found that a short course of hormone therapy poses little risk for menopausal women and may, indeed, alleviate some of the more troubling symptoms of "the change," including hot flashes, increased sweating, and husband slaughter.
9. CHRIS MATTHEWS HOST
Why it's trending: After watching President Obama's lackluster debate performance against Mitt Romney, the host of "Hardball" suffered a not-so-mini meltdown, which--as much as I agree with his overall points--was kind of hilarious to watch. Anyway, Matthews is still mad. When last seen, he was running down the shoulder of I-95 in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, screaming "47%! 47%!"
An interesting sidenote: "The Chris Matthews Host" was the original name of "The Dave Matthews Band." Dave and the guys ultimately decided that didn't make much sense. True story.
8. BREAST CANCER AWARENESS
Why it's trending: October, is "Breast Cancer Awareness Month." In the past, women-folk have observed BCAM by posting enigmatic Facebook status updates about the colors of their bras or the preferred resting places of their purses. While this may or may not have raised awareness of breast cancer, it DID make me aware of which of my female Facebook friends like to "go commando," so it wasn't a total loss.
7. HOMS, SYRIA
Why It's Trending: Homs, a rebel-held Syrian town on the Turkish border, has come under massive aerial attack by government forces. Turkey has returned cross-border fire. Syrian human rights groups, as well as international humanitarian organizations, have condemned the government's heavy-handed and indiscriminate attacks against a largely defenseless population. As developments unfold, the world watches with trepidation.
Meanwhile, in Homs, North Dakota, Zeke overslept, so he didn't open the bait and tackle shop until 6:15. "Might as well've not opened at all," said Big Merle, who had come by Zeke's at its normal 5:00 AM opening time to stock up on nightcrawlers, "'tain't gwineta be any fishes awake now." As developments unfold, the world watches with trepidation.
(Because Big Merle moved to North Dakota from Maine! OK, Anonymous?!?)
6. RUBEM ROBIERB
Why He's Trending: He's the fiance of Good Morning America weatherman Sam (not short for "Samantha") Champion (not short for "Championship Mud Wrestling Live from Reno"). Anyway, they're getting married. I hope they'll be happy, but I can't say I approve. Not because of the whole gay marriage thing; I just have a major problem with names that look like typos.
5. SAMSUNG GALAXY CAMERA
Why It's Trending: I guess it's a camera that's linked directly to the interwebs, thus enabling people to share pictures of their genitalia even faster and easier. As developments unfold, the world watches with trepidation.
4. STEVE JOBS TRIBUTE LAPTOPS
Why It's Trending: As the one-year anniversary of his death approaches, Steve Jobs is being memorialized by Uncover, a laser-cutting business. The company is engraving Jobs' image on three laptop computers that will be auctioned off for charity. While highly stylish, the computers' pancreases are extremely unreliable. (Too soon? It's been a year!)
3. COLLEGE FOOTBALL
Why It's Trending: Frankly, I'm surprised any time college football is NOT trending on a Sunday, given that the new rankings are released after Saturday's games. Making today extra special, though, is the fact that, in the last week, no major college programs have been fined, sanctioned, or otherwise penalized for financial improprieties or child molestation.
2. EARLY VOTING
Why It's Trending: An Ohio law that would have ended in-person early voting on the Friday before Election Day has been overturned by a federal appeals court. This is seen as a victory for President Obama, who received a substantial portion of the early votes in Ohio in 2008. While the Romney campaign sees this as a setback, spokesmen expressed confidence that voter suppression efforts in other states would prove more successful.
And the NUMBER-ONE TRENDIEST TOPIC AT THIS MOMENT ON THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM IS. . .
TALLADEGA RACE
Why It's Trending: You know, I've always suspected that NASCAR fans were a separate race. If not a whole different species! Good to know.
Why it's trending: Well, when has hormone therapy been anything other than trendy? All the Melky's are doing it! (Too soon?) Specifically, though, researchers have found that a short course of hormone therapy poses little risk for menopausal women and may, indeed, alleviate some of the more troubling symptoms of "the change," including hot flashes, increased sweating, and husband slaughter.
9. CHRIS MATTHEWS HOST
Why it's trending: After watching President Obama's lackluster debate performance against Mitt Romney, the host of "Hardball" suffered a not-so-mini meltdown, which--as much as I agree with his overall points--was kind of hilarious to watch. Anyway, Matthews is still mad. When last seen, he was running down the shoulder of I-95 in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, screaming "47%! 47%!"
An interesting sidenote: "The Chris Matthews Host" was the original name of "The Dave Matthews Band." Dave and the guys ultimately decided that didn't make much sense. True story.
8. BREAST CANCER AWARENESS
Why it's trending: October, is "Breast Cancer Awareness Month." In the past, women-folk have observed BCAM by posting enigmatic Facebook status updates about the colors of their bras or the preferred resting places of their purses. While this may or may not have raised awareness of breast cancer, it DID make me aware of which of my female Facebook friends like to "go commando," so it wasn't a total loss.
7. HOMS, SYRIA
Why It's Trending: Homs, a rebel-held Syrian town on the Turkish border, has come under massive aerial attack by government forces. Turkey has returned cross-border fire. Syrian human rights groups, as well as international humanitarian organizations, have condemned the government's heavy-handed and indiscriminate attacks against a largely defenseless population. As developments unfold, the world watches with trepidation.
Meanwhile, in Homs, North Dakota, Zeke overslept, so he didn't open the bait and tackle shop until 6:15. "Might as well've not opened at all," said Big Merle, who had come by Zeke's at its normal 5:00 AM opening time to stock up on nightcrawlers, "'tain't gwineta be any fishes awake now." As developments unfold, the world watches with trepidation.
(Because Big Merle moved to North Dakota from Maine! OK, Anonymous?!?)
6. RUBEM ROBIERB
Why He's Trending: He's the fiance of Good Morning America weatherman Sam (not short for "Samantha") Champion (not short for "Championship Mud Wrestling Live from Reno"). Anyway, they're getting married. I hope they'll be happy, but I can't say I approve. Not because of the whole gay marriage thing; I just have a major problem with names that look like typos.
5. SAMSUNG GALAXY CAMERA
Why It's Trending: I guess it's a camera that's linked directly to the interwebs, thus enabling people to share pictures of their genitalia even faster and easier. As developments unfold, the world watches with trepidation.
4. STEVE JOBS TRIBUTE LAPTOPS
Why It's Trending: As the one-year anniversary of his death approaches, Steve Jobs is being memorialized by Uncover, a laser-cutting business. The company is engraving Jobs' image on three laptop computers that will be auctioned off for charity. While highly stylish, the computers' pancreases are extremely unreliable. (Too soon? It's been a year!)
3. COLLEGE FOOTBALL
Why It's Trending: Frankly, I'm surprised any time college football is NOT trending on a Sunday, given that the new rankings are released after Saturday's games. Making today extra special, though, is the fact that, in the last week, no major college programs have been fined, sanctioned, or otherwise penalized for financial improprieties or child molestation.
2. EARLY VOTING
Why It's Trending: An Ohio law that would have ended in-person early voting on the Friday before Election Day has been overturned by a federal appeals court. This is seen as a victory for President Obama, who received a substantial portion of the early votes in Ohio in 2008. While the Romney campaign sees this as a setback, spokesmen expressed confidence that voter suppression efforts in other states would prove more successful.
And the NUMBER-ONE TRENDIEST TOPIC AT THIS MOMENT ON THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM IS. . .
TALLADEGA RACE
Why It's Trending: You know, I've always suspected that NASCAR fans were a separate race. If not a whole different species! Good to know.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)