Miscellany

Last week's poll question was:

A recent survey suggested that white lab coats might--might--contribute to disease because they pick up germs. What do you think doctors should wear? The choices:

--Those white coats are so snazzy! I'll take my chances!

--Ugh, germs! Let doctors wear whatever they want, as long as its clean.

--Doctors should have a sort of "uniform," but it should be updated every year--like fashion.

--Doctors should be naked!

The results are in, and with a whopping 50% of the vote, Sloppists have declared, "Doctors should be naked!"

Now, a word about that "whopping 50%": That translates to TWO PEOPLE! What's the matter with all of you? Don't you like to take polls? Who doesn't like to take polls? Maybe we didn't make it clear enough that this was a poll, and we actually wanted your input. Get with the program, folks!

The other conclusion to draw from this is that Sloppists are a bunch of perverts. Well, either that or you all have super-hot doctors. In which case the Solipsist really needs to reconsider his health plan.

Does "Grey's Anatomy" present an accurate picture of the relative attractiveness of medical professionals? Could this be why healthcare costs are out of control: Too many Dr. McDreamy's enticing too many young ladies (and some men) to schedule unnecessary office visits? It would make sense. Hey, if our doctor looked like, say, Katherine Heigl, we might schedule a few unnecessary prostate exams. This might be something for healthcare reformers to look into.

(And next time, TAKE THE POLL!)

Too hot for Medicare?

(Image from tv.yahoo.com)

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Also.

This morning the news reported that Michael Jackson might actually have a fourth child, a Norwegian rapper (yes) named Omer Bhatti. Now, who knows? But here's the eye-roll: The reporter made a big deal about video footage showing Jackson riding a Jet-Ski with a 13-year-old Omer; Omer is in front, and Jackson is sitting behind him. The reporter stated that this footage showed how close Jackson and Omer obviously were, thus supporting the idea of a father-son relationship.

Sure. 'Cause, why else would Michael Jackson want a 13-year-old boy scrunched up against his crotch?

Too soon?

Requiem for a Punchline

Talk about being overtaken by events!  Here we were, all set to compose another installment on "Shameless Joy," about the apparent political death of South Carolina's Republican Governor Mark Sanford.  What is it about Republicans not being able to keep it in their pants?  Yes, yes, Bill  Clinton was hardly a paragon of male sexual restraint, but at least he never claimed to be.  Did you know that Sanford was in the House of Representatives during Clinton's impeachment?  And did you know that he voted for impeachment?  What's more, in citing his reasoning for his vote, he pointed out that Bill Clinton had lied under oath.  He wasn't talking about the perjury charge, though.  According to today's Times, he chastised Clinton at the time for lying "under a different oath, and that's the oath to his wife."  Do you suppose Sanford's put a bandage on his ass where that came back to bite him?

Well, looks like we did get a chance to discuss shameful joy, after all.

But of course, the news that's rocking the world is from the world of rock--or pop, anyway.  Michael Jackson, dead at 50.  Honestly, we were never great fans of the gloved one.  Still, his passing marks a moment, and the marking of moments is what blogs are for.  So, herewith, some random thoughts on the passing of the King of Pop.

. . . . These things come in threes.  Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson. . .?  First an iconic pop-culture figure from the 1970s, then an iconic pop-culture figure from the 1980s (mostly).  One can't make any solid predictions, but Ricky Martin better watch his step for the next few days.

. . . . Undoubtedly, Michael Jackson was a tremendously talented individual.  But talk about a fall from grace.  The man must have had an unbelievably troubled childhood, and there's probably a special corner of Hell reserved for overbearing parents of child prodigies.  Still, at some point, sympathy is exhausted.  Child molestation is kind of a deal-breaker.

. . . . We'll probably never know for certain exactly what he did with those children who spent the night at Neverland.  He avoided a trial by paying $22 million to his alleged victim, who then refused to cooperate with police.  Was Jackson paying to protect himself, or just to put an end to things?  Doesn't matter.  He might have been better off going to trial.  Conviction in the court of public opinion is irreversible on appeal. . . .

. . . . The Solipsist is a writing instructor.  In his classes, his students are often assigned to write a paragraph about a celebrity who has had a positive or negative impact on young people.  Invariably, in a set of paragraphs about celebrities who have had a negative impact, 20 - 25% will be about Michael Jackson. . . . .

. . . . Will that change now?  Out of respect for the dead?  Out of a feeling of irrelevance?  Sadly, it will not change because of rehabilitation or comeback.  Over the last couple of years, the percentage of paragraphs dedicated to Britney-Spears has gone down.  She's got an opportunity that Michael Jackson never took advantage of. . . .

. . . . His music will live on.  "Beat It," "Thriller," "Billie Jean," etc.  They're good songs, and quality will last.  Elvis Presley's music is still relevant, too.  But just as there will always be a conflicted image of Elvis--rebel heartthrob vs. Vegas self-parody, so, too, will there be conflicting images of Michael Jackson: adorable sweet-voiced ragamuffin; young superstar with a spectacular set of pipes and inimitable dance moves; accused child-molester and bleached tabloid freakshow.  Which image will prevail?  If the early reports are accurate, things don't look good:  A Fox News correspondent, quoted on the Times' Arts blog:  "People are already showing up in costume, believe it or not."  Oh, we believe it.  We believe there are people out there who have kept their shiny gloves and Jeri curls and red over-zippered motorcycle outfits ready for just this moment.  Looks like Psycho-Michael Motorcycle Gangs will join Fat Elvis Skydiving Clubs in the pop-culture sideshow. . . .

. . . . For what it's worth, Rest in Peace, Michael.