In Which We Imagine No Religion

Generally, this blog is a funny place (I try), but it's hard to generate that kind of content on a day like today, when the front pages of the world's papers are filled once again with images of senseless slaughter and mayhem, this time in Paris.  We struggle to maintain our sense of proportion, of rationality--to say the right things about not judging all the members of a group based on the actions of a tiny minority, about how responding to violence with more violence leads only into an abyss--all the while longing secretly, guiltily, for some massive, cathartic act of collective vengeance.  But there's the problem, right?  As righteous as our angers feels, the lunatic rage of those who struck Paris yesterday oozes up from the same desire for revenge, the craving to get even for injuries real or perceived. 

The temptation is, first, to blame the seventh-century mindset of fanatical Muslims, as ISIS zealots claim responsibility for the latest carnage.  But then, we really need to blame not Islam, but religion in general, as every faith claims to promote peace while slaughtering its "enemies" in the name of a supposedly all-powerful deity--an all-powerful deity so insecure in its omnipotence that it requires murderous suppression of anyone who dares to so much as raise an eyebrow at its claim to superiority.  Bottom line, of course: Old-time religion's sole purpose is the rationalization of suffering: People suffer, see no reason for suffering, justify suffering as somehow holy--as proof of their actual status as beloved of God--and then release their frustrations on others who are, by definition, unbeloved of God and therefore fair game. 

Imagine no religion?  I'd like that.  I really would.  Still, I despair.  Even without God to blame, we'd still find excuses to kill each other.  A secular prayer, then: That one day we--the collective we, the we that is all humankind--will one day harness the near-unfathomable power we possess in our magnificent brains, and turn our attention to solving the problems we all face, instead of squandering our genius on blame and hate and rage.  I fear this prayer will prove as effective as those uttered by true-believers the world over.  But, hey, I'm only human--groping, too, for some hope in the dark.

In Which We Review the Republican Debate

So, let me get this straight: At last night's Republican debate, Donald Trump argued that no increase in the minimum wage is necessary because wages are "too high."  At the same time, the tide of illegal immigration must be stemmed and some 11 million people deported because, as Ted Cruz claims, these illegal immigrants are "pushing down American wages."  In other words, restricting immigration will raise the wages of American workers, who are already overpaid.  I'm so confused.  Not as confused the masses of red-state blue-collar workers supporting billionaire Donald Trump, who apparently thinks that they--the workers--are paid too much, but confused nonetheless.

Also from the debate, according to Marco Rubio, America needs "more welders and less philosophers.”  As Stannis Baratheon would surely point out, what we need are "fewer" philosophers, but aside from that Rubio is absolutely right.  America must reduce its well-documented glut of philosophers!  Why, one can't swing a dead cat--or, if you're a Schrodingerian, a dead and alive cat--without whacking a philosopher in the face!  And I, for one, am sick and tired of placing ads for welders on Craigslist (none of your business!) and having twenty to thirty philosophy majors show up!

In Which We Wonder about Higher Education Priorities

The President of the University of Missouri's Columbus campus, Timothy M. Wolfe, has tendered his resignation in reaction to wide-ranging protests.  Wolfe first stirred anger when he announced the university would stop paying for graduate students' and teaching assistants' health coverage.  Then the university's medical school severed ties with Planned Parenthood in response to attacks from Republican politicians--only to then be attacked by Democrats who felt the college was kowtowing to political pressure.  But the proverbial last straw for Wolfe came when the football team threatened to boycott its games due to the college leadership's insufficient response to racial incidents on campus.

Good on them for forcing change, but, to put this in perspective: First, they stripped healthcare away from the underpaid and overworked graduate students who presumably shoulder much of the responsibility for actually educating the student body, but nothing happened because those overburdened grad students should be thankful for whatever they get.  Then, they failed to support the medical school's right to cooperate with a non-profit organization that actually provides necessary medical care for countless poor and uninsured women, but nothing happened because all the women who go to Planned Parenthood are abortion-happy slatterns who should be shamed and inconvenienced as much as possible.  And then they angered the football team, and MY GOD THIS MAN MUST RESIGN IMMEDIATELY!!! Because FOOTBALL!!!

'Murica!

In Which We Enlighten the Masses

Fun fact: The first pies were baked by primitive statisticians for the sole purpose of conveying information about the relative quantities of the parts that make up a whole. It was centuries before people realized these "pie charts" could be filled with delicious fillings and eaten.