In Which We Feel Impending Dread

A small number of American troops will soon be on the ground in Syria.  If you're keeping track--well, good luck.  But as I understand it, the Americans will coordinate with Kurdish forces battling the Islamic State.  The Kurds, though, are also fighting the Assad regime, an ally of Russia.  Russia started dropping bombs on Syria a couple of weeks ago, ostensibly also targeting the Islamic State, yet, strangely, causing major damage primarily in areas controlled not by ISIS but by those battling Assad--in other words, dropping bombs on people who share the goals of the Kurds--whom American forces will be hanging out with.

So, yeah, no way this ends badly.

This decision has accomplished a minor miracle in Washington, uniting Republicans and Democrats, who both think it a bad idea.  Of course, they have different reasons.  Republicans feel that the troop deployment is "too little too late," and Democrats think it risks pushing the US down a "slippery slope into a hopeless war."  Clichés aside, both sides are kind of right.  I tend to side more with the "stay out of it" side, but I also think that these sort of half-measures--designed to show that the US is doing something while not getting hopelessly entangled--are doomed to accomplish pretty much nothing, except maybe get American soldiers killed.  To throw another cliché at the situation, "Go big, or go home."  And if those are the choices, Americans should really just go home.

In Which We Anxiously Anticipate the Chinese Duggars

In an attempt to ward off economic decline, China has officially relaxed its one-child policy.  Couples will now be allowed to have two children.  Slippery slope, people!  How long until Chinese TLC subjects us to "Three Kids and Counting"?!?

In Which We Avoid Republicans, Dare Trump, Question Facebook, and Roll Our Eyes at Overly Creative Reporters.

I confess: I didn't watch the Republican debate last night.  Since I am not a registered Republican, and thus will not directly participate in the selection of the GOP nominee, I declare missing the debate not so much an act of utter civic apathy as an example of instinctual self-preservation: My delicate sensibilities can stand only so much of these carnival barkers pretending to be statesmen--or rather, NOT pretending to be statesmen.  That would be an improvement.  Still, I was struck by this quote from ostensible "safe" candidate, Jeb Bush:

“It troubles me that people are rewarded for tearing down our country. It’s never been that way in American politics before. I just don’t believe that this country’s days are going to be deeply — you know, going down. I think we’re on the verge of the greatest time, and I want to fix the things to let people rise up.”

Huh?

Was this Bush trying out new campaign slogans: "Bush 2016: Fixing the things!"  "Bush 2016: On the Verge of the Greatest Time!"  I guess either of those is better than "Bush 2016: America Doesn't Go Down!"  Not much better, but, y'know, better.

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Did you see this?  In response to Donald Trump's suggestion that the million-dollar loan he received from his father was not a particularly large sum of money--and should do nothing to detract from his delusional self-image as a self-made man--Stephen Colbert challenged Trump to sign a million-dollar check made out to the Harlem Children's Zone.  If Trump is half as smart as he considers himself, he will waste no time in signing the check: That million dollar donation would do more for his image than ten times that amount spent on advertising.  I'm almost mad at Colbert for giving that jackass such a golden opportunity.  But I will cling desperately to the belief that Trump's inherent jackassery will prevent him from doing such an obviously right thing.

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I have 30 people "following" me on Facebook.  I have no idea what this means, especially because I don't actually KNOW any of these people.  Shouldn't it just say I have 30 people "stalking" me?

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From the "Someone at the Times Is Trying Way Too Hard" files:

"Enceladus is only 300 miles across and whiter than a Bing Crosby Christmas, reflecting virtually all the sunlight that hits it, which should make it colder and deader than Scrooge’s heart."
                       --"Cassini Seeks Insights to Life in Plumes of Enceladus, Saturn’s Icy Moon"

Some editor should have gotten rid of that sentence the way the Grinch took away Cindy Lou Who's Christmas tree.

In Which We Gaze in Awe at Congressional Fashion

Yes, Congress and the White House reached a tentative budget agreement that would more-or-less stabilize the country's finances for the next couple of years, but never mind that!  What's up with John Boehner's tie:

You don't normally see that shade of green outside of a box of Lucky Charms.  I'm guessing Boehner looked at his tie rack, filled with all shades and styles of Republican red and just said, "Fuck it!  I'm outta here! I'm gonna be a leprechaun!"

In Which We Question the Logic of Anti-Gambling Laws and Iowa Republicans

Front-page article in today's Times discusses the byzantine world of online sports betting.  Such betting is mostly illegal in the United States, except in Las Vegas, because sports betting is perfectly fine as long as it's conducted in a desert atmosphere.  When people outside of Vegas bet on sports, they are engaging in an illegal activity, and so must navigate the shadowy realms of the internet and, apparently, Fifth Avenue.  It's all rather confusing to me.  Mainly because sports betting--and gambling in general--is one of those mostly victimless crimes like personal marijuana use and, I don't know, arson, that people should be allowed to engage in, free from government interference.  The very fact that sports books are legal in Vegas--and other forms of gambling are legal virtually everywhere across the country--is an indication that maybe the federal government could find better things to do with its time.  In the meantime, though, I will just reiterate that people should be allowed to do whatever they want with their own money.  Except bet on the Knicks--that's a clear sign of a dangerous mental deficiency.

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People are drawn to Ben Carson because he is "calm."  Makes sense.  It's a trait that appeals to classic Republican values.  Like Teddy Roosevelt said, "Speak softly and be an idiot."

In Which We Ask, Is This Really the Guy Who Wrote "Heart of Gold"?

Deep, Insightful Musical Criticism:

Neil Young has had a magnificent career.  His many accomplishments include writing what may well be the worst song I've ever heard.  As you might guess from the title, "Who's Gonna Stand Up (and Save the Earth)" features an environmental message.  As you might also guess from the title, the lyrics have all the subtlety of a beheading.  The melody sounds like rejected "Game of Thrones" theme music.  I can generally get behind environmentalism, but this song makes me want to go out and personally denude a rain forest.