We're just going to say it: When you're hot and thirsty, there's just nothing more refreshing than ice cold orange soda.
(We've been cleaning all day. No energy for creativity.)
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
SLO Death
Every spring for the last few years, the Solipsist's college has held a Staff Appreciation Day. The administration springs for food. A couple of the faculty members barbeque. Offices close early. And the Solipsist karaokes--whether people want him to or not.
This year, due to budget cuts and an increasing workload, the college had to cancel the formal Staff Appreciation Day. Instead, the administration provided a luncheon for the staff, served by the managers. A nice gesture, to be sure, but somewhat dampened by the fact that this week layoffs were announced. Suffice to say, we found something mildly ironic in the idea of an event expressing appreciation for the staff who have just been informed of their dismissal. Mildly ironic and majorly depressing.
One of our colleagues published an article in the faculty association's newsletter about the increasing demand for "accountability" on the part of community-college (and other) educators. Teachers must be accountable! Staff must be accountable! Administration must be accountable! Students must succeed, and those responsible for their success must provide evidence that they are, in fact, succeeding.
If this sounds reasonable to you, we understand. Certainly the public has a right to know how tax dollars are spent, and, indeed, community-college faculty should be held accountable for doing that for which they have been hired. The problem, though, is that a great number of those who talk most about accountabiity seem to start from a position of doubt--an assumption that we are not doing our jobs. As a result, we faculty must constantly prove our worth. The current buzzworthy term in higher-education is "Student Learning Outcomes" (SLOs). It is not enough to give lectures, to design engaging, interactive classes, and to spend twice as many hours again prepping for classes and grading papers; it is not enough to hold office hours and other student conferences; it is not enough to attend departmental meetings and sit on numerous committees. We must also provide data-based proof that all of this is effective. This means more number-crunching, more meetings, more reports. More work for everybody.
But go back to that luncheon we discussed earlier, the one at which all those soon-to-be-laid-off employees were feted. While faculty must provide ever-more evidence that they are doing what they are supposed to be doing, the numbers of those who support the mission of the college--and by extension the teachers--are diminishing. Those who are left must pick up ever more of the slack. And all the while, teachers must take more time away from teaching in order to fill out reports to prove that they are teaching.
We're stuck in a vicious circle--one that's located around a drain.
This year, due to budget cuts and an increasing workload, the college had to cancel the formal Staff Appreciation Day. Instead, the administration provided a luncheon for the staff, served by the managers. A nice gesture, to be sure, but somewhat dampened by the fact that this week layoffs were announced. Suffice to say, we found something mildly ironic in the idea of an event expressing appreciation for the staff who have just been informed of their dismissal. Mildly ironic and majorly depressing.
One of our colleagues published an article in the faculty association's newsletter about the increasing demand for "accountability" on the part of community-college (and other) educators. Teachers must be accountable! Staff must be accountable! Administration must be accountable! Students must succeed, and those responsible for their success must provide evidence that they are, in fact, succeeding.
If this sounds reasonable to you, we understand. Certainly the public has a right to know how tax dollars are spent, and, indeed, community-college faculty should be held accountable for doing that for which they have been hired. The problem, though, is that a great number of those who talk most about accountabiity seem to start from a position of doubt--an assumption that we are not doing our jobs. As a result, we faculty must constantly prove our worth. The current buzzworthy term in higher-education is "Student Learning Outcomes" (SLOs). It is not enough to give lectures, to design engaging, interactive classes, and to spend twice as many hours again prepping for classes and grading papers; it is not enough to hold office hours and other student conferences; it is not enough to attend departmental meetings and sit on numerous committees. We must also provide data-based proof that all of this is effective. This means more number-crunching, more meetings, more reports. More work for everybody.
But go back to that luncheon we discussed earlier, the one at which all those soon-to-be-laid-off employees were feted. While faculty must provide ever-more evidence that they are doing what they are supposed to be doing, the numbers of those who support the mission of the college--and by extension the teachers--are diminishing. Those who are left must pick up ever more of the slack. And all the while, teachers must take more time away from teaching in order to fill out reports to prove that they are teaching.
We're stuck in a vicious circle--one that's located around a drain.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Brief Post
We're a bit pressed for time today, so we'll just wish everybody a happy Cinco de Mayo. Like most Americans, we have no idea what Cinco de Mayo is all about. Maybe Spanish people just really like the number "5." At any rate, enjoy the day. And have a nice Seis de Mayo, too.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
MLK Never Met OBL
Does the fact that we find ourselves profoundly un-bothered by the death--execution, if you will--of Osama bin Laden make us a bad liberal? Understand, we don't revel in his death. When we heard the news, we felt no temptation to run out into the streets, waving a flag, and chanting "U-S-A! U-S-A!" But if forced to choose between "happy" or "less-than-happy" about bin Laden's death, we come down strongly and without the slightest feeling of guilt on the "happy" side.
Many of our friends have shared sentiments from the likes of Martin Luther King about the utter pointlessness of violence. We want to respect our friends' feelings and believe them sincere in their measured responses to bin Laden's death.
At the same time: Really?
What would people have preferred? That Seal Team Six arrest Osama? And then what? A trial? Where would you find twelve impartial jurors in the US? And where would you hold the trial? New York City? Last year, New York authorities objected to holding trials for mid-level terrorism suspects in lower Manhattan on the grounds that security would be unmanageable. How would they manage a bin Laden trial? And if New York couldn't manage it, who could?
Could the international community set up some kind of Nuremberg-like proceedings? Possibly, but there is no chance the US would cede custody of bin Laden to any third party, particularly if this third party (as would likely be the case) foreswore the death penalty. And presumably if, despite all the logistical, jurisdictional hurdles, a trial were ultimately held, the verdict would be a foregone conclusion (if there were the slightest chance of bin Laden's acquittal, the US would never allow a trial to begin. See: Guantanamo). In the meantime, though, we would have subjected ourselves to months--years, probably--of political squabbles, legal wrangling, and angry protest. What happened Sunday night was far more honest.
In the end, we turn to Mark Twain (why not?) for a fitting expression of our own sympathies: "I've never wished another man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."
Many of our friends have shared sentiments from the likes of Martin Luther King about the utter pointlessness of violence. We want to respect our friends' feelings and believe them sincere in their measured responses to bin Laden's death.
At the same time: Really?
What would people have preferred? That Seal Team Six arrest Osama? And then what? A trial? Where would you find twelve impartial jurors in the US? And where would you hold the trial? New York City? Last year, New York authorities objected to holding trials for mid-level terrorism suspects in lower Manhattan on the grounds that security would be unmanageable. How would they manage a bin Laden trial? And if New York couldn't manage it, who could?
Could the international community set up some kind of Nuremberg-like proceedings? Possibly, but there is no chance the US would cede custody of bin Laden to any third party, particularly if this third party (as would likely be the case) foreswore the death penalty. And presumably if, despite all the logistical, jurisdictional hurdles, a trial were ultimately held, the verdict would be a foregone conclusion (if there were the slightest chance of bin Laden's acquittal, the US would never allow a trial to begin. See: Guantanamo). In the meantime, though, we would have subjected ourselves to months--years, probably--of political squabbles, legal wrangling, and angry protest. What happened Sunday night was far more honest.
In the end, we turn to Mark Twain (why not?) for a fitting expression of our own sympathies: "I've never wished another man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure."
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
No Thanks Necessary
So many parties, so little time.
In a rare confluence of celestial scheduling and. . . well, marketing, we suppose, today we celebrate not only National Star Wars Day--May the 4th be with you!--but also National Teacher Day.
Obviously, you all knew about the former. Equally obviously, you had no knowledge of the latter. If you had, we would scarcely be able to fight our way to a working computer through the mounds of gifts with which you would no doubt have showered us.
You all stink. Really.
Still, we've come to accept the fact that ours is a thankless task, so we remain unsurprised when no one thanks us. The Solipsist has never actually thanked his teachers, either.
Actually, that's not entirely true. At the beginning of our college career, we majored in drama. We loved acting and thought it would be great to devote our academic lives to that pursuit. After a year, though, we realized that a life in the theater wasn't for us, but we didn't know what to do. So, we went to visit one of our professors, Geri Clark, to ask her advice. She listened, she reflected, and then she told us that, if we were having such doubts, then changing majors was probably a good idea. As we left her office, though, she said, "And remember, no choice is ever really final."
We appreciated these words, an affirmation that we were doing the right thing, combined with the comforting reminder that there was nothing stopping us from choosing again if we wanted to.
Some years later, we had the opportunity to see Prof. Clark again at some alumni gathering in Manhattan. We took the opportunity to go up and thank her for her words. She was gracious, but we could tell she didn't remember us. No matter; we think she appreciated the thought.
Which, we suppose, is why we don't really care whether people thank us or not. All teachers believe--have to believe, really, or there'd be no point in doing what we do--that we make SOME difference in at least some of the lives we touch. Whatever thanks we get are nice when we get them. But we know how people feel about us regardless.
In a rare confluence of celestial scheduling and. . . well, marketing, we suppose, today we celebrate not only National Star Wars Day--May the 4th be with you!--but also National Teacher Day.
Obviously, you all knew about the former. Equally obviously, you had no knowledge of the latter. If you had, we would scarcely be able to fight our way to a working computer through the mounds of gifts with which you would no doubt have showered us.
You all stink. Really.
Still, we've come to accept the fact that ours is a thankless task, so we remain unsurprised when no one thanks us. The Solipsist has never actually thanked his teachers, either.
Actually, that's not entirely true. At the beginning of our college career, we majored in drama. We loved acting and thought it would be great to devote our academic lives to that pursuit. After a year, though, we realized that a life in the theater wasn't for us, but we didn't know what to do. So, we went to visit one of our professors, Geri Clark, to ask her advice. She listened, she reflected, and then she told us that, if we were having such doubts, then changing majors was probably a good idea. As we left her office, though, she said, "And remember, no choice is ever really final."
We appreciated these words, an affirmation that we were doing the right thing, combined with the comforting reminder that there was nothing stopping us from choosing again if we wanted to.
Some years later, we had the opportunity to see Prof. Clark again at some alumni gathering in Manhattan. We took the opportunity to go up and thank her for her words. She was gracious, but we could tell she didn't remember us. No matter; we think she appreciated the thought.
Which, we suppose, is why we don't really care whether people thank us or not. All teachers believe--have to believe, really, or there'd be no point in doing what we do--that we make SOME difference in at least some of the lives we touch. Whatever thanks we get are nice when we get them. But we know how people feel about us regardless.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Bin Laden Done That
People worry that Bin Laden's execution will inspire his followers to acts of violence. As opposed to the acts of pro-American benevolence they were planning before yesterday?
Now we understand why President Obama released his long-form birth certificate last week. He knew this operation was imminent, and he wanted to avoid the inevitable Republican accusations that he was only trying to distract the nation from the facts of his Kenyan birth.
The latest conspiracy theory making the rounds is that Osama bin Laden was actually killed a long time ago, and the government is only now revealing this fact. We suppose it's possible, but it doesn't seem likely, mainly because there doesn't seem to be any great political advantage to revealing this information now if it didn't actually happen, y'know, now. It's nowhere near election time, and Obama isn't facing any particularly troubling scandal at the moment.
Obama is far too canny a politician to waste an October surprise in May.
As for our feelings on the day's big news: We are glad the man is dead--whether it happened yesterday or some time ago. We were a little put off by all the chest-thumping and flag-waving, but we understand it. Whatever non-violent release people need to get them through the catharsis.
Burn in hell, Osama. You won't be missed.
Now we understand why President Obama released his long-form birth certificate last week. He knew this operation was imminent, and he wanted to avoid the inevitable Republican accusations that he was only trying to distract the nation from the facts of his Kenyan birth.
The latest conspiracy theory making the rounds is that Osama bin Laden was actually killed a long time ago, and the government is only now revealing this fact. We suppose it's possible, but it doesn't seem likely, mainly because there doesn't seem to be any great political advantage to revealing this information now if it didn't actually happen, y'know, now. It's nowhere near election time, and Obama isn't facing any particularly troubling scandal at the moment.
Obama is far too canny a politician to waste an October surprise in May.
As for our feelings on the day's big news: We are glad the man is dead--whether it happened yesterday or some time ago. We were a little put off by all the chest-thumping and flag-waving, but we understand it. Whatever non-violent release people need to get them through the catharsis.
Burn in hell, Osama. You won't be missed.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Hypocrisy
Blatant hypocrisy!
In one part of the world, the Powers-That-Be have rallied around the cause of removing an autocrat from power, potentially liberating his long-suffering subjects from the self-enriching ravages of his and his family's regime. Meanwhile, these EXACT SAME Powers-That-Be have turned a blind eye to the even greater suffering of those subject to an even longer-serving autocracy.
We are speaking, of course, of Bud Selig and other executives of Major League Baseball.
A few weeks ago, Selig decided that the despotic regime of Frank McCourt would not stand. He liberated the Dodgers and established a veritable no-fly zone where the ex-dictator could no longer tread. Though perhaps uneasy at Selig's takeover, the international community of baseball fans has largely accepted the developments.
At the same time, though, on the other side of the continent, long-suffering New York Mets fans are understandably perplexed at the international community's continued neglect of their situation.
"We're DYING here," one longtime Mets fan who wished to remain anonymous commented to the Solipsist. "The Phillies, the Braves. . . even the Marlins. . . . They're butchering us, and nobody seems willing to do anything!"
Indeed, Commissioner Selig has gone so far as to offer his support to Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz, the architects of Mets-nation's misery.
When asked for his assessment of the situation, one diplomat with long experience in the region explained that he understood the commissioner's dilemma. "Look," he said, requesting anonymity, "nobody likes to see the atrocities being perpetrated against Met's fans. I mean, just the situation at second-base is worthy of investigation by the International Criminal Court.
"At the same time," he continued, "you have to be careful any time you consider intervening in the workings of a sovereign entity."
Asked whether he foresaw any change in the Commissioner's dealings with the Mets, the diplomate was not optimistic. "I would love to see Mets' fans dancing in the streets, throwing off the yoke of incompetent ownership. But I suspect outside help will not arrive any time soon."
In one part of the world, the Powers-That-Be have rallied around the cause of removing an autocrat from power, potentially liberating his long-suffering subjects from the self-enriching ravages of his and his family's regime. Meanwhile, these EXACT SAME Powers-That-Be have turned a blind eye to the even greater suffering of those subject to an even longer-serving autocracy.
We are speaking, of course, of Bud Selig and other executives of Major League Baseball.
A few weeks ago, Selig decided that the despotic regime of Frank McCourt would not stand. He liberated the Dodgers and established a veritable no-fly zone where the ex-dictator could no longer tread. Though perhaps uneasy at Selig's takeover, the international community of baseball fans has largely accepted the developments.
At the same time, though, on the other side of the continent, long-suffering New York Mets fans are understandably perplexed at the international community's continued neglect of their situation.
"We're DYING here," one longtime Mets fan who wished to remain anonymous commented to the Solipsist. "The Phillies, the Braves. . . even the Marlins. . . . They're butchering us, and nobody seems willing to do anything!"
Indeed, Commissioner Selig has gone so far as to offer his support to Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz, the architects of Mets-nation's misery.
When asked for his assessment of the situation, one diplomat with long experience in the region explained that he understood the commissioner's dilemma. "Look," he said, requesting anonymity, "nobody likes to see the atrocities being perpetrated against Met's fans. I mean, just the situation at second-base is worthy of investigation by the International Criminal Court.
"At the same time," he continued, "you have to be careful any time you consider intervening in the workings of a sovereign entity."
Asked whether he foresaw any change in the Commissioner's dealings with the Mets, the diplomate was not optimistic. "I would love to see Mets' fans dancing in the streets, throwing off the yoke of incompetent ownership. But I suspect outside help will not arrive any time soon."
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