If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say. . . Great!

We were all set to blog about the administrators at Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill, who sent students home for wearing clothing bedecked with the American flag, but then we read about formspring.me. Forbidden patriotism will have to wait.

Apparently, Formspring is the new big thing: All the kids are doing it. On this site, as far as we can ascertain, members--primarily middle- and high-school students--create accounts for the sole purpose of receiving abuse. Unlike Facebook, where people must identify themselves before calling you a flat-chested slunt, on Formspring, anonymity reigns. You can find out what people really think about you! And no one thinks anything good!

Personally, we think this is a great idea. We encourage all Sloppists to sign up. Then, the Solipsist will be able to enlighten you about all your little quirks and foibles--all those personal faults that we've wanted to point out for so long, but have been unable to for fear of hurting your feelings--well, of hurting your feelings and being identified.

Understand, Nation, this is all for your own good. When you open your Formspring mail and read about your unflattering profile pictures, your jejune commentary, your flouncing egocentricity (you know who you are!)--your bad hair, worse breath, and unforgivable inability to dance the samba--your utter irredeemability and unfitness to walk among polite society--we hope you will take the comments in the spirit of deep affection with which they are made. . . .y'know, by whoever might be making them.

Let the improvement of Solipsist Nation commence!