The other day, we casually opened our browser. As our homepage is Yahoo!, we find out immediately--via a quick glance at the "Trending Now" section--what has the blogosphere buzzing. The other day, the blogosphere buzzed about "Taliban Monkeys."
According to a report circulating in the Chinese news media, the Taliban--after exhausting the creative possibilities of suicide bombers and improvised explosive devices--have taken the next logical tactical step in their crusade against the forces of modernity: Gun-toting baboons. NATO officials and others have dismissed these reports as so much nonsense. According to Christopher Coe, a primatologist at the University of Wisonsin:
"To my eye at least, it is a baboon [in the Chinese news photo], which lives inAfrica. . . . The more common monkey that lives in that part of the world is a rhesus monkey. They live in India and can also be found in China. But this photo is not of a rhesus monkey."
According to a report circulating in the Chinese news media, the Taliban--after exhausting the creative possibilities of suicide bombers and improvised explosive devices--have taken the next logical tactical step in their crusade against the forces of modernity: Gun-toting baboons. NATO officials and others have dismissed these reports as so much nonsense. According to Christopher Coe, a primatologist at the University of Wisonsin:
"To my eye at least, it is a baboon [in the Chinese news photo], which lives inAfrica. . . . The more common monkey that lives in that part of the world is a rhesus monkey. They live in India and can also be found in China. But this photo is not of a rhesus monkey."
Yeah, THAT's what makes this story unbelievable.
We almost wish it were true, though. If the Taliban turn to monkeys, then maybe NATO could follow suit. The United States could train grizzly bears to drive tanks and pigeons to drop bombs (by which we mean the explosive kind--not poop). All the soldiers could come home, and we could get on with our lives while our zoological proxies settled once and for all whose God was best.
Actually Sol, I think you're on to something here! I believe the war would be over much sooner if we DID use animals to fight our battles and wars. I mean, look at how rabid people are over possible animal abuse. Pictures of fuzzy little kittens with fuzzy little bombs strapped to their backs would send the nations into a frenzy! Meanwhile, I'll just have to wait and worry once again for my child to come home safe.
ReplyDeletewe got plenty of bears up here -- once they get into people's garbage, they've pretty much ruined their chances of living "in harmony" with us. Maybe a career in the military is just the thing for a black bear that's been caught one too many times...
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, as any fool who has seen the movie "Congo" knows (and only a fool would admit to seeing the movie "Congo") (and after watching the movie "Congo", one feels like a fool), Baboons don't need no stinkin' guns! Secondly, if they were to attack us, we would simply unleash a bunch of good ol' boy Orangutans like Clyde in "Any whichway but loose" to whomp theys furrin' asses! So whut's the prob, slob?
ReplyDeleteMonkey see....Monkey do....but wouldn't it be lovely if we could send out compassionate macacs who would diplomatically resolve worldy disputes? Seems like an impossibiliry.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz_BQLMdNrg