God Bless You, Terry Jones

The Right Reverend Scrotum-breath has called off his Bonfire of the Quranities. We'd like to take credit for his change of heart. So we will! (Hey, you'd rather think of him as having a semblance of humanity?)

Our favorite part of the story is that Jones claims he called off his protest because the imam of the "Ground Zero" mosque agreed to relocate from the "holy ground" surrounding the World Trade Center site. Yeah. Right. So impassioned pleas--not all of which were wholly deranged--from a wide variety of politicians, civic groups, other public figures, and assorted average citizens met with stony indifference and/or callous rejection. But an unhinged xenophobe threatens to burn a few holy books and those Muslims are a-headin' for the hills!

For the record, Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf denies that any such deal is in place.

Lest you have any doubts about Jones' sincerity, he has not only abandoned plans for International Burn a Quran Day, but he has made a heartfelt plea to all his potential emulators:

"We are, of course, now against any other group burning Qurans," Jones said. "We would right now ask no one to burn Qurans. We are absolutely strong on that."

Oh, great! Now what are we supposed to do with the trunkload of Qurans we bought?!? Wait. . . Hold on. The quote continues:

". . . . We are absolutely strong on that. It is not the time to do it" (emphasis added).

Whew! So, fingers crossed! Here's hoping we get to burn us some Qurans (look at that spelling! Does that seem Amurrrican to you?) sometime soon!

Still, what are we going to do on Saturday night? Guess we'll check out what the Klan's up to. Yee-hah!