Springtime for Paladino

The Democratic Party is salivating at the prospect of squaring off with "unelectable" Republican candidates like Christine "Masturbation Causes Scurvy" O'Donnell in the Delaware senate race and Carl "The Speaker of the New York Assembly is the Antichrist" Paladino in the New York gubernatorial campaign. While anything that makes Karl Rove dyspeptic is pleasing in our eyes, we can't help but feel more than a little nervous.

The Solipsist doesn't know much about O'Donnell's opponent, but we do know that New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo should cruise to victory over Paladino. Cuomo is an experienced politician with favorable job-performance ratings, a huge financial advantage, and a last name that is to New Yorkers what "Kennedy" is to Bostonians. Indeed, one reason you've probably heard less about New York's primary than Delaware's is that the New York Republican nominee is largely seen as cannon fodder: Nobody expects Paladino to win, but nobody really thought his primary opponent, Rick Lazio, had much of a chance against Cuomo either.

So why are we scared?

Look, we share the hope of rational people everywhere that the lunatic fringe will settle down before this country falls completely to pieces. We hope that the victories of Paladino and O'Donnell and assorted other wingnuts--woefully unqualified to hold public office--will prove pyrrhic and bring people back to their senses. But what if they don't? What if, against all odds, these straw men manage to rally just enough people to their cause? What if unenthusiastic Democrats fail to come out on Election Day, assuming their uninspiring-if-safe candidate's victory is a foregone conclusion?

In "The Producers," Messrs. Bialystock and Bloom do everything they can to ensure a financially lucrative Broadway disaster. When, despite their best-laid plans, the show is a smash hit, Bialystock laments: "How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?" If we're not careful, we worry that parts of the country could be "going right (wing)" in the worst possible way.
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On a related note, we would like to declare our massive man-crush on Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, both of whom announced plans to hold Glenn Beck-style rallies to counter extremists of all political persuasions. Stewart will stage the "Rally to Restore Sanity" on the National Mall on October 30; Colbert will stage his own "counter-rally,": The "March to Keep Fear Alive." If anyone would like to hook their favorite blogger up with airfare, we promise to let you be a guest-columnist!