Parallel Porn

Today in our writing workshop, we discussed parallelism:

"OK, folks, parallelism in writing refers to the idea that elements within sentences, and sometimes whole sentences themselves, should have the same basic structure. So, for example, listen to this sentence: 'I need you to wash the dishes, do the laundry, and dinner needs to be cooked.' Doesn't sound right, does it? That's because the sentence lacks parallel structure. A better sentence would be, 'I need you to wash the dishes, do the laundry, and cook dinner'--now you're listing three things that you need someone TO do.

"All right, let's practice. For these sentences, tell me where the parallelism 'breaks down,' and then suggest a way to fix it. Sentence number one: 'John is a great actor, a terrific dancer, and he sings well, too.' . . . Right, the parallelism breaks down after 'terrific dancer.' What could you say instead? . . . Good, 'John is a great actor, a terrific dancer, and a talented singer.' OK, next. 'Last night, Phil ate at a diner, went to a party, and his wallet was lost on his way home.' . . . Right, the sentence falls apart after 'party.' How could you fix it? Sure, '. . . went to a party, and lost his wallet on the way home.' All right, now how about this? 'When I was little, my mother was very strict with my father, my sister, and hard on me.' Yes, exactly, everything goes wrong after the 'hard on.'"

(Giggle, giggle, k-snrf! chortle)

"Oh, for god's sake, grow up people!"

(Image from wwwnew.towson.edu)