Kids Today!

"Some argue that today’s child-rearing and educational techniques have produced praise addicts. Roni Caryn Rabin of The Times recently reported on some research that found that college students would rather receive a compliment than eat their favorite food or have sex."

What college was this? How ugly would the students have to be?

Y'know, the food thing, maybe. If you're counting calories and all. Maybe someone compliments you on your ability to resist tempation.

But sex? Really? You expect us to believe that a majority--or at any rate a plurality--of college students, actually chose a compliment over sex?

"OK, Phil. Here are your choices: A juicy steak, a blow job, or a compliment. Which do you want?"

"Hmmm. . . "

"Well?"

"Don't rush me! I'm thinking!"

"Uh. . . OK. . . "

"What was the second thing?"

"A blow job?"

"From a girl?"

"Well, y'know, yes. . . Or a guy, whatever you prefer."

"Or a steak?"

"Yes, or a compliment. Which would you prefer?"

Seriously, that would have to be some major compliment. Maybe if, like, Obama and George Clooney--

[WOS: Again with George Clooney? Really?]

--and, and, like God all came to our office and told us that we were just doing a bang-up job and were a credit to humanity and the best thing since sliced bread--

Actually, we'd still prefer sex. Or a steak.

Personally, we don't even see the need to choose, accustomed as we are to being complimented for sex.

[WOS: Oy.]

Solipsistography

"The Modesty Manifesto"