The Solipsist hates Texas. From George W. Bush to Rick Perry, from Big Oil to Country & Western music, Texas has subjected the nation to a great many indignities. With the exception of a diminishing number of relatives and the small island of progressive thought that is Austin, there is not much in the Lone Star State that does not elicit our disgust.
However, as much as we hate Texas, we hate Florida even more. Sure, we have a number of relatives there, but DOS is really a New Yorker who just happens to live in Florida; COS would much rather be in San Francisco; and ACOS. . . well, ACOS is just misguided. But think about it: What's the most famous thing Florida has ever given this country? PRESIDENT George W. Bush (BY WAY OF TEXAS!). So when it came right down to it, our rooting choice for the NBA Finals was a no-brainer: Dallas Mavericks all the way.
We don't know what will happen in the next game or two. The Heat will be back in Miami, so they may very well rally and win the next two games and the series. Nevertheless, we wish to express our appreciation for the fact that Dallas has played the heavily-favored Heat so well so far. We also want to express our admiration for the Mavericks' superstar forward Dirk Nowitzki for (A) performing like the second coming of Larry Bird; (B) thoroughly outplaying Mr. LeBron "Take Your Talents to South Beach and Shove 'Em" James; and (C) demonstrating to tall, lanky doofuses everywhere that a sports career is not an impossible dream.
Mavericks: John McCain and Sarah Palin stole that word; Nowitzki and company are stealing it back.
For what it's worth, if I had my choice, I would live in Colorado. However, WOACOS doesn't want to leave Florida, and I have a pretty good job here.
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