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Monday, March 26, 2012

Anchor Embryos

Ellie Lavi, an American native living in Israel, was told that her children, who were conceived via in vitro fertilization, did not automatically qualify for American citizenship unless she could confirm that either the egg and/or sperm used to conceive the girls was that of an American citizen.

In a bizarre, bureaucratic way, this makes sense.  I have to admit, though, I had never thought of sperm as possessing a nationality.  You realize what this means?  Every time an American man masturbates overseas, he facilitates a massive (albeit short-lived) invasion.  Don't let the strident anti-immigrant lobby get ahold of this information: Customs agents will be strapping non-removal condoms onto every arriving international male passenger, lest "anchor-semen" start crusting up the bedspreads at America's finest hotels.

Sorry.

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