Monday Miscellany--Friday Edition; Plus, Another Day at Solipsist Central

82-year-old Louise Slaughter (D-NY), the oldest woman in Congress, recently suffered a broken leg, which has hampered her bid for re-election.  Still, Slaughter insists that her health is not an issue:

“I don’t feel my age,” she said, minutes after finishing a grueling day of physical therapy. Her voice, still flecked with her native Kentucky drawl, was soft but firm. “I’ve always had the stamina of three people.”

An impressive claim, until you realize the three people she's referring to include late-stage Marlon Brando, Hans Moleman, and current Marlon Brando.

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SOLIPSIST: Hey, did you hear, MCA from the Beastie Boys died?

WOS: Oh no!  That's so sad!

SOL: Yeah.

WOS: What happened?

SOL: Cancer.

WOS: Really?  How come we didn't know he was sick?

SOL: Apparently, he was diagnosed a few years ago, so I guess it wasn't totally unexpected.

WOS: Oh, wow. . . .

(Pause.)

SOL: Well, they SAY it was cancer. . . .Personally, I think it was. . . . 'Sabotage'!

WOS: No!

SOL: See what I did there?

WOS: Stop!  Not cool!  Just, for once, can you please be a NORMAL PERSON!

(Pause.)

SOL: Too soon?

WOS: Shut up!