SOL: You know, if you think about it, just about any movie could be improved if you change one word of its title to "Monkey."
WOS: Hm.
SOL: "When a Monkey Calls."
WOS: "The Silence of the Monkeys."
SOL: Exactly! . . . "Monkey of Arabia."
WOS: Heh.
SOL: "Monkey."
WOS: Hm?
SOL: That would be "Avatar."
WOS: Oh. Oh. . .Kay.
SOL: "Planet of the Monkeys."
WOS: That one doesn't work too well.
SOL: Guess you're right. . . ."Monkey Monkeys."
WOS: What?
SOL: Instead of "Thirteen Monkeys."
WOS: What?!?
SOL: You know, the Bruce Willis movie about the disease that kills people.
WOS: As opposed to the disease that cures people?
SOL: You know what I mean.
WOS: "TWELVE Monkeys."
SOL: Oh, right. (Pause) Well, you can see where my title would avoid confusion. . . . What movie had thirteen of something?
WOS: I'm ignoring you.
(Pause.)
SOL: "Schindler's Monkey.". . . Too soon?
WOS: A bit.
(Pause.)
SOL: "Abbot and Costello Meet the Monkey". . . "The Hurt Monkey". . . "Harry Potter and the Monkey of Azkaban."
WOS: Just how long are you going to do this?
SOL: I don't know. How many movies are there?
Ah, monkeys. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteNot fer nuthin', but the ACTUAL translation of Pierre Boule's title, IS "Monkey Planet". The English publishers thought "apes" had a stronger sound.
ReplyDeleteDon't encourage him
ReplyDelete