Dear President Obama,
We received your e-mail, informing us of your choice of Judge Sonia Sotomayor to replace Justice David Souter on the Supreme Court. Although "born in the Bronx" and "Supreme Court nominee" are two phrases we never expected to see in the same sentence, she seems like a very nice lady. Still, we think you should give the Solipsist another look.
Oh, sure, when it comes to things like "qualifications" and "legal acumen," Judge Sotomayor is probably a more conventional choice. But isn't that the point? Don't you want to make your mark? Yes, yes, it's all well and good that she will be the first Hispanic justice. But let's face it: Hispanics are the fastest growing ethnic group in the U.S. It would seem to be only a matter of time before someone got around to appointing a Hispanic justice. Because we like you, though, we are offering you a truly historic opportunity to be the first President to nominate someone with absolutely no credentials whatsoever!
(We know what you're thinking: Bush I beat you to that with Thomas. But, y'know, he looked OK on paper. The Solipsist barely looks OK in the mirror!)
And if you're looking to 2012, may we suggest that having inroads to the Latino vote is useful; having inroads to the desperately-unqualified-for-anything vote, however, would be a sure path to a landslide.
Respectfully yours,
The Solipsist
You've got MY vote though I'm not sure that counts for much. I also influence a rapidly growing segment of the population-my five children and their various S.O.'s* and any past or future progeny produced thereof. I've just discovered what the term "exponential growth" means. Might I make one teeny tiny little suggestion? Use an acronym. All the best states, cities, countries, businesses, people...do it. I would proudly wear a "DUFAV" button and also list it as my political affiliation on FB(something that is bound to start a wave of DUFAVers across the country).
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