Because EVERY Day is "Malice Day"

We could handle the math-geek exuberance of "Square Root Day."

We chuckled at the absurdity of "Talk Like a Pirate Day."

We actually kind of enjoyed "National Punctuation Day."

But we must draw the line somewhere. And, folks, "somewhere" is here.

Today, dear Sloppists, is "World Kindness Day."

According to the website, November 13 was decreed "World Kindness Day" in 1998. That was the opening day of the first World Kindness Movement conference in Tokyo. From their website:

The purpose of World Kindness Day is to look beyond ourselves, beyond the boundaries of our country, beyond our culture, our race, our religion; and realise we are citizens of the world. As world citizens we have a commonality, and must realise that if progress is to be made in human relations and endeavours, if we are to achieve the goal of peaceful coexistence, we must focus on what we have in common. When we find likenesses we begin to experience empathy, and in such a state we can fully relate to that person or those people. While we may think of people from other cultures as being ‘different’ when we compare them with our own customs and beliefs, it doesn’t mean that we are any better than they are. When we become friends with someone from a different culture we discover that despite some obvious differences, there are many similarities.

Guess we shouldn't have kicked that hobo this morning.

But "World Kindness Day" isn't just for the Japanese anymore!

--Americans celebrate it: The website of Los Angeles Public Relations Firms exhorts us to "Take a minute and be kind to someone today." (A minute? When you think about it, that's a pretty hefty chunk of sustained kindness.)

--In Singapore, government "volunteers" handed out 45,000 yellow daisies as symbols of kindness--no doubt avoiding a good caning.

--The United Arab Emirates takes a more practical approach, urging citizens to be kind to themselves by brushing their teeth we are not making this up. (Note to Sloppists: If you're planning to hook up with someone in the UAE, today's the day to do it!)

--Canadians celebrate "World Kindness Day"--or, as they call it, Friday--by going about their business and wondering why it's so comparatively quiet in the basement (i.e., Montana).

"But, Solipsist," you ask, "What can I do to celebrate WKD?" Here are some suggestions:

--Take your blogger to lunch.

--Hug a stray dog.

--Avoid using the words "fag," "fatass," and/or "retard" (unless, of course, you are actually speaking to or about a retarded overweight homosexual--then it's fine.)

--Hug a cactus.

--If a homeless person asks for spare change, make eye contact as you lie about not having any.

--Hug a Rush Limbaugh fan.

OK, strike that last one: It's "World KINDNESS Day," not "Take Leave of Your Senses" Day.

Sigh.

When is "World Snark Day"?