Offense Intended

Speaking of Judaically-themed insults, the other day at work we participated in an intervention. A young man who works at the college bookstore has a tendency of too frequently dropping the "S-bomb": "Schmuck."

His boss was concerned: While not a member of the Yiddish-speaking tribe herself, she had a suspicion that "Schmuck" was too strong to be tossed about blithely in polite company. "I think that N____ thinks it basically means 'Jerk,'" she told us, "but isn't it stronger than that?"
Yes, in fact, it is.

For all our gentile Sloppists, we here provide a handy guide to Jewish insults. (We hope that FOS will chime in on this, as he is far more knowledgeable of Yiddish. Ours will be an extremely rudimentary list.)

If someone is a jerk, you have two basic choices that will be familiar to your non-Jewish audience: schmuck and putz. Interestingly, they share the same literal meaning: a slang term for a notable part of the male anatomy. 'Putz' is the more gentle remonstrance. Friends can call each other 'putz.' 'Schmuck,' on the other hand, is closer to 'asshole,' and should be reserved for people and occasions that warrant such condemnation.

Two other useful Yiddishisms are 'schlemiel' and 'schlamazel' (familiar to "Laverne and Shirley" enthusiasts). The simple definitions are a 'schlemiel' is someone who spills his soup, and a 'schlamazel' is the one the soup gets spilled on. (Disclaimer: We might have those backwards.)

So feel free to work these into your daily criticisms. Just make sure to use them properly.

Oh, and as for N______: When we explained the true meaning of 'Schmuck,' and that he was actually insulting people quite strongly when he used it, his response was, "Cool." What a putz.