And General Petraeus Is from "Call of Duty"

Today we had planned a stirring entry on split infinitives. Alas, we will have to temporarily postpone that posting. The following simply cannot wait.


Faithful Sloppists have no doubt noticed that we have installed a poll (look to the right), soliciting feedback on our layout. Now, as of this writing, no one has chosen option three. We know you're holding back--too polite to make demands of your favorite blogger--but we also know that you are waiting, hoping, praying for the moment when we will overcome our inexplicable reticence and address the burning issue that is Tiger Woods.

Sloppists, your wait is over.

Frankly, we must admit that we were reluctant to address the issue, not knowing what we could add to the debate.

(Digression: DOS made an interesting observation about the Woods imbroglio. To paraphrase: "I keep hearing about how much trouble Tiger Woods is in. He's got millions of dollars and at least three gorgeous women chasing after him. I should have such trouble!" EOD.)

At any rate, we're glad we waited because, after what we've seen today, we realize that anything we could have said would be superfluous. If you haven't seen this video yet, check it out.

Admittedly, the language barrier is a problem, but we think we get the gist. This Taiwanese news site has broken the Woods story wide open! As near as we can tell, the report is telling us that Woods and his wife are actually characters in the popular "Grand Theft Auto" franchise. Wishing to become real--apparently to get freaky with some red-carpet hottie--Woods took off in his car. His wife's avatar quickly equipped "golf club," causing plus-20 damage to Woods' luck, charisma, and profitability.

There you have it folks. We may have to give up our dream of being the web's primary source for investigative journalism: The Taiwanese do it so much better.

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The Solipsist would like to welcome our newest follower, Catswing. Apparently, she's a Japanese blogger who's trying to improve her English, and she's chosen our humble blog as a source for her continued inspiration and education. Or something like that.

Catswing, we'll have you referring to yourself in the first-person plural in no time. Welcome!