Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Information?

Generally speaking, the Solipsist refrains from commenting on individual episodes of TV shows because. . . . Well we don't really have a REASON for it, it's just never come up before. But we think that last night's episode of "House" screams for commentary.

(WOS: Oh no. No no no. Don't! Do not! For the love of God!)

Sorry, WOS, we have a. . .ahem. . .a duty.

See, last night's medical mystery involved a compulsive blogger who was--par for the course for the show--suddenly beset with a mysterious and life-threatening illness that would kill her in a matter of days unless Dr. Gregory House could. . . uh. . . flush out what was wrong.



(WOS: You're really doing this? I wash my hands of this.)



Well, anyway, if you've ever seen the show, you know how the first 48 minutes went: House's team proposed various diagnoses, most of which House shot down immediately. Occasionally, one of the doctors would propose something that sounded reasonable (albeit totally unintelligible to the non-medical specialist), treatment would be provided, things would look better for a moment before taking a dramatic turn for the worse. Finally, in the middle of some seemingly unrelated conversation, House gets a faraway look in his eyes, the music swells, and he's off to save the day with a stunning revelation. Last night, the revelation had to do with the patient's all-revealing blog--or ALMOST all revealing blog. House, you see, realized that one subject that this obsessive-compulsive sharer of every intimate detail had failed to mention even in passing in her blog was. . . poop.

Poop!



That's right, she had never blogged about her bowel movements--the very thing that held the clue to her underlying illness. (Why none of the other doctors bothered to ask her about this basic bodily function during one of their innumerable consults is a question that we won't delve into too deeply.)


Nation, we were horrified. Have we, in our own compulsive bloggery, been risking life, limb and a trip to Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital through our own colonic oversights? Can we afford to take the risk? We think not! So, for the sake of our own health and your piece of mind, we hereby present a thorough--we dare say comprehensive--account of our own gastrointestinal output over the last six months.



Back in September, all was regular, until one night after a particularly spicy dinner of ribs and corn on the cob. We awoke around 2:00 AM with a stabbing pain in our abdomen, indicating a massive buildup of fe-------



OK, OK, ENOUGH!



Hi, everybody. This is WOS. I know I washed my hands of the whole thing, but I just. . . I just can't let this go any further. I have taken the Netbook away from the Solipsist, and I am not giving it back unless he swears to abandon this line of blogging. If an appointment with House is the price he has to pay for not discussing his bathroom habits. . . It's a chance we'll all just have to take. Heck, I'd like to meet Hugh Laurie anyway. The Solipsist might be back tomorrow. G'night!

(Image from fox.com)