Fingernails IV

Or, Have We Got to Change Our Evil Ways?

We hope not. Still, we’re concerned that we could get slapped with a SLAPP (Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation). Time was, one’s right to express one’s opinion was quaintly protected by the First Amendment. Now, however, more and more private businesses are going after online public advocates--or just run-of-the-mill kvetches--in court. People who create Facebook groups like “I’ll bet I can find 100,000 people who think McDonald’s makes its hamburgers out of weasels” or “Joey’s Lube and Run Sucks” may find themselves on the wrong end of a lawsuit.

Admittedly, these lawsuits seldom succeed. The companies, though, feel that it’s worth taking a shot at intimidating the offending bloggers into removing their unflattering posts. It often works.

So, as a sort of pre-emptive kowtowing to the powers that might be, the Solipsist would hereby like to issue a heartfelt “Just Kidding” to the following groups and individuals: The Republican Party, Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, the makers of the CamiSecret, Los Lobos, Canada, the New York (swallowing hard) Yankees, all Florida sports teams, Emi Ha, the research department, WOS (oh, wait, wives can’t sue husbands, can they? WOS, we’re taking back the apology), Mr. Arnold Wasserstein of Upper Saddle River, NJ (when it happens, you’ll know), and Mormons.

We feel immense relief.