A Solipsist Exclusive
WASHINGTON--President Barack Obama today invoked the 25th amendment to the Constitution and stepped down from the presidency, citing an inability to focus on the nation's affairs since getting Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" stuck in his head almost one week ago. Vice President Joe Biden immediately took the oath of office and was sworn in as the nation's 45th president.
"My fellow Americans," former President Obama said in a statement, "I expect that this situation will resolve itself fairly quickly, and I hope to return to office in the very near future. In the meantime, let me be perfectly clear: If you like it, then you should put a ring on it."
Mr. Obama was exposed to the song last week when, at the insistence of Sasha and Malia Obama, the former President watched season one of "Glee" on DVD. "One of the episodes featured Ms. Beyonce's song," he explained. "You know, the one where Finn gets the football team to work with Mr. Schuester, and the offensive line breaks into a big dance number right before they score a touchdown? Could anyone not be hooked by that?
"At first, I thought I could work through this," Mr. Obama continued. "I realized I could not when I began humming 'all the single ladies' throughout a negotiating session between Benjamin Netanyahu and the Syrian ambassador.
"I apologize to the American people for letting them down, but I think that invoking the 25th amendment and having Vice President Biden take over is the right thing to do. I saw Martin Sheen do the same thing the other night on 'The West Wing.' The country will be fine."
Martin Sheen was unavailable for comment.
This was worse!
ReplyDeleteOn June 29, 2002, President George W. Bush underwent a colonoscopy and chose to invoke the amendment, temporarily transferring his powers to Vice President Cheney.