Will You Still Need Us?

It finally happened. We knew this day would come, we just didn't know when. Now, we know.

Every semester, we assign our class a textbook exercise on topic sentences. Never mind the details, but one of the sample topic sentences in the book states, "The Beatles went through many musical stages." A few years back, when we got to this point in the exercise, we threw out what we thought was a pretty easy challenge: "One point extra credit right now to the first person who can name three Beatles' songs."

We were mildly surprised to see how many students were unable even to venture a guess, but, still, a handful of students could do it with no problem. Since then, we've kept the challenge going, and have noticed a steadily decreasing number of students able to answer. We wondered when the number would fall to zero. The answer was, today.

Yes, today, when we asked the question, absolutely no one could answer. Not even the older students.

OLDER STUDENT: Oh, Mr. Solipsist, you're talking old school, here.

SOLIPSIST: Well, Older Student, can you give me three songs?

OS: Sorry. . . .

SOLIPSIST: Really? No one? No one can name three Beatles' songs?. . . . [crickets chirping]

SOL: Can anyone name three Beatles? [Prolonged silence]

STUDENT: Wasn't Paul McCartney. . . ?

SOL: Yes, Paul McCartney. . . .

ANOTHER STUDENT: What about the guy that was with Yoko Ono?

SOL: Well, yes. . .

[WAIT A MINUTE?!? YOU KNOW YOKO ONO AND YOU DON'T KNOW JOHN LENNON?!? WHAT THE HOLY HELL?!?]

And that was it. We shook our head sadly, continued with our lesson, went back to our office, and wept for the future.

(Image from Indiana Public Media)