Well, we won. We're officially the funniest person in El Cerrito! Roughly equivalent to being the finest ballerina in Djibouti, but we'll take it.
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More importantly, why 33 and 1/3? What's the point of that 1/3?
(Digression: For our younger readers, we are referring to magical waxy circular objects called "records" or "elpees" that would, when spun and stimulated by a stylus [or "needle"], fill a room with music. EOD.)
Now, we're sure some know-it-all buttinsky will point out that it has something to do with the need (or desirability) of a record spinning precisely 100 times in three minutes, but that simply proves he has been duped. Duped, we say! For we here at Solipsist HQ have acquired a turntable that spins exactly 33 times per minute! Revelations!
"Abbey Road": When played at 33 rpm, "The Sun King" contains a hidden message informing the listener that Paul, while not dead, was, at the time of the recording, suffering from hives.
If you listen closely, you can hear Bob Dylan ordering from a local Chinese restaurant on "Like a Rolling Stone" (egg drop soup, a single spare rib, and apple juice).
On several records, Pat Boone can be heard swearing fealty to the "dark lord" Azetoth.
Every Elvis Presely record contains hidden stock tips (including, on several occasions, admonitions to invest heavily in llama futures).
We're planning to slow things down to 32 rpm tomorrow. If you don't hear from us again, assume that "they" got to us. And send help!
Actually, the 331/3 speed was engineered (like the 78 before it and the 45 that followed it) for maximum (for the time) distortion reduction and fidelity to the original. But that's not the point. The point is: APPLE JUICE? in a Chinese Restaurant? Where they let you, or even Dylan, split a spare rib order? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE KIDDING!?
ReplyDeleteHey, we only know what we heard.
ReplyDeletevery pythonesque, Sol. And very witty Wilde, very witty.
ReplyDelete