Solipsist Vs. Food

On the Travel Channel's show "Man Vs. Food," Adam Richman, a jovial New Yorker who weighs nowhere near as much as you would expect, goes around the country, sampling local favorite restaurants. Unlike most foodie programming, the show's focus is not so much food quality but quantity. You know how some restaurants will offer customers a free meal if they can finish the "Bathtub Special"--which turns out to be, like, 15 pounds of franks and beans? Well, Adam goes around and takes on these challenges.

We have to admit, as daunting as these challenges are, many of them LOOK downright delicious. And the running gag here at Solipsist HQ is that, when the episode's challenge is revealed, we turn to WOS and say, "Oh, we could do THAT one." WOS just nods and says, "Sure."

Now, we should also mention that WOS herself has a certain "specialty dish": Kielbasa casserole. Basically, the ingredients call for two pounds of polska kielbasa, baked in a casserole dish with about two pounds of potatoes, a dozen hard-boiled eggs, and about a pound of sour cream. With just the right amount of seasoning, we're talking about the most delicious comfort food you could imagine.

The other night, WOS announced that she was going to make kielbasa casserole, and we said that THAT, in fact, was probably something we could do a "Man Vs. Food"-type challenge on. We know from experience that we can pack away at least a couple of heaping platefuls of casserole, and still have a desire for more. We usually just stop after two because, after all, we have to leave some for WOS and SOS. WOS, of course, was skeptical, but we were insistent.

"All right," she said. "I'll make TWO casseroles, one just for you. Put your mouth where your mouth is."

So she did.

We plowed through the first plate with no problem, and we were still cruising through the second plate. Midway through the third plate, though, we hit the wall. We considered our options: Swallow our pride--which we could still conceivably keep down--or swallow more casserole, which, to be honest, would probably have only the briefest of stays in our innards before returning to the world above in a most horrific fashion.

Well, Nation, we are sorry to say that, delicious as it was, in the other night's battle of Solipsist Vs. Food. . . . Food won!