Behind the Scenes

(The offices of a major movie studio, 1989.)


STUDIO EXECUTIVE: Tim, we love the story.  Really love it!   But we have a problem with the title.

TIM: You don't like "Edward Schnauzerhands"?

EXEC: It really doesn't work for us.

TIM: How about "Franklin"?

EXEC: "Edward Franklinhands"

TIM: "Franklin Schnauzerhands."

EXEC: It's not the "Edward" we have a problem with. . . .

TIM: Oooooohhhh. . . .

EXEC: Yeah.

TIM: How about "Edward Poodlehands"?

EXEC: Why does he have dogs for fingers?

TIM: Why not?

EXEC: Well. . . .

TIM: I guess I could call it "Edward Fingerhands."

EXEC: About?
TIM: About a guy who has, well, who has fingers where his fingers would. . .  be. . . .

EXEC:  Yeah, I don't think that people would go to see that.

TIM: But it'll have Johnny Depp!

EXEC: Right. . . Um. . . How about. . . . "Edward Blotterhands"?

TIM: "Blotterhands"?

EXEC: Yeah, like, a blotter. . . Like this big green piece of felt on my desk . . . .

TIM: What the hell would "blotterhands" look like?

EXEC: Tim, I'm just spitballing here. . . . trying to help. . . .

TIM: By yelling out random items on your desk?!?

EXEC: Well, you don't have to get snippy.

TIM: "Blotterhands"!  Why not "Edward Penhands"!  Or, "Edward Phonehands"!  Or "Edward Scissorhands"!  Or--

(Tim and the Executiive look at each other.)

TOGETHER: Heyyyyyyy!

And, that's how that happened.