A Very Solipsist Thanksgiving

In college, the Solipsist took an Intro. to Political Science class. The professor was an eastern European who sounded like he had just escaped the gulag. A true Marxist, though, he periodically excoriated the American political system. At least we think it was excoriation: "Dem-oh-cracy," he once pronounced, "ees a ketch-24." !

By way of wishing the class a happy Thanksgiving, he launched into a speech inveighing (predictably) against American (well, really British, we suppose, but why quibble) colonialism. He segued into his blatant despair at the thought of the impending holiday, and wrapped it all up with, "You know, what I tink of, when I tink of Thenksgiving? I don't tink of femily and friends. I don't tink of being thenkful. No! I tink of 40 million tor-keys that are going to be slaughtered!"

We think this was the moment when we got over any lingering, politically correct holiday guilt we may have ever felt.

Now, those of you who know the Solipsist--and/or those of you who have faithfully read this blog over the last year--have probably grokked that sentimentality is not our strong suit. We're not going to sit here and spew warm fuzzies about spending time with the family and sharing thankfulness for all that we've received. Bleah!

But we're also a little turned off by all the self-righteous posing of people who lament the holiday because of what "we" did to the Native Americans. Yes, what happened to the Native Americans was pretty awful, but here's the thing: "We" didn't do it. (And if "you" did, congratulations on celebrating your 450th birthday.)

Are you objecting? Are you waving your finger in the air and telling us that we must not forget? We must study history and respect the cultures that are lost? Sure. That's what school is for. This is a holiday.

"A holiday," you snap back, "that celebrates genocide!"

Well, no. No, it isn't. Because these days Thanksgiving is no more about the pilgrims than Christmas is about the birth of Christ. If you insist that it's "about" anything, Thanksgiving is "about" getting together with your family and/or friends, having a nice meal, and taking a moment off to, y'know, be thankful for something. If it makes you feel better, you can be thankful that you weren't an aboriginal American on the shores of Massachusetts in 1621. And if you insist on lambasting "America" for what it did to the "Indians," put your money where your mouth is: Send a donation in to the Native American Heritage Association or some other charity. Otherwise, shut up and eat your turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!