It's OK--Nobody Reads This Stuff

Last week, a friend posted a picture on her Facebook wall--actually, a screen shot from another Facebook wall. It showed the following status message:

"OMG I HATE MY JOB!! My boss is a total pervvy ****er always making me do *** stuff just to **** me off! ****ER!!!"

The boss posted the following comment:

"Hi. I guess you forgot about adding me on here? Firstly, don't flatter yourself. Secondly, you've worked here 5 months and didn't work out that I'm gay? I know I don't prance around the office like a queen, but it's not exactly a secret. Thirdly, that '*** stuff' is called your 'job', you know, what I pay you to do. But the fact that you seem able to **** up the simplest of tasks might contribute to how you feel about it. And lastly, you also seem to have forgotten that you have 2 weeks left on your 6 month trial period. Don't bother coming in tomorrow. . . . And yes, I'm serious."

Sure, we all appreciate the young lady's comeuppance. Our appreciation arises, though, not so much from the young lady's obnoxiousness--for all we know, her boss really is a "pervvy ***er" [sic]--but rather from her monumental stupidity: trashing her boss on a semi-public forum, TO WHICH SHE HAS PREVIOUSLY INVITED HER BOSS!

Note the key phrase in the boss's reply, though: "You also seem to have forgotten that you have 2 weeks left on your 6 month trial period." This obviates any potentially touchy legal issues. Sure, we understand why her boss fires her, but honestly, she could have been fired for much less--for nothing, in fact.

Life imitates. . . well, life (assuming the Facebook post is real). The National Labor Relations Board has filed suit against American Medical Response of Connecticut, an ambulance company, after the company fired an employee, ostensibly for making disparaging comments about her supervisor on Facebook. The NLRB claims the post and the ensuing commentary by other employees constitute protected speech; the company claims the employee was fired for multiple reasons, only one of which was the "negative personal attacks [DIGRESSION: As opposed to "positive" personal attacks? EOD] against a co-worker posted publicly on Facebook." Indeed, the employee's wrath arose in part from AMR's requiring her to prepare a response to a customer's complaint about her work. She hardly comes across as a model employee.

The case does raise interesting questions, though, about how protected one's speech is. Isn't bitching about the boss a time-honored American (and Russian, and German, and Australian. . . . ) tradition? Many a sitcom gag revolves around a hapless employee venting at the water-cooler while his interlocutors roll their eyes, raise their eyebrows, and engage in all manner of pantomime to warn the speaker that, "MR. MCELROY IS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!!" Is there something about the utilization of the social network that aggravates the offense?

Well, yes, insofar as the social network is a public medium. While it may be acceptable to vent to one's fellow workers about an annoying boss, what happens when other "Friends" read the post and get the wrong (or, who knows? right) idea about the company? If we were the management, we would be less upset by the employee's feelings--or even the fact of her publication--than by the tone: We wouldn't want the public to think some vulgarian represented our company. More to the point, while we defend to the death the employee's right to have her opinions, and even to share them in a proper forum, we would--as in the case of the employee mentioned at the beginning of this post--question her judgment. Someone stupid enough to post her personal vitriol where anyone can see it must accept the consequences of her actions.

In closing--and apropos of nothing--let us just say how much we love Solipsist Community College and all the people who work there, particularly President W. and Vice-President M. and Dean K. We couldn't ask for a better bunch of colleagues, friends--dare we say, surrogate family members and veritable soulmates to make our days bright, our nights warm, and our dusks crepuscular. Why, these people are just the salt of the earth, and we resolve here and now to name any future sons, daughters, or pets after the exemplary faculty and staff of this truly idyllic workplace, the likes of which. . . . .