That's Not a Maggot--It's a 'Carcass Puppy'

From the "Apparently-This-Is-Not-a-Joke" File:

As some of you may have heard, the state of California is going through a small patch of financial turbulence these days. Nothing too significant: A little less street-cleaning, a few unfilled potholes, several thousand state employees laid off or furloughed. But remember that the Chinese have the same word for "crisis" and "opportunity."


(Digression: Homer Simpson: "Yeah, crisotunity." EOD)


It is times like this that call forth the creative problem-solvers among us. And no one can solve a problem more creatively than the good folks at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). When word got out that the California Parks Department was considering closing several beaches in an effort to trim the budget, PETA stepped forward to help. They have offered to provide the money to keep Pescadero State Beach open--under one condition. In order to receive the funds, California has to agree to rename Pescadero Beach "Sea Kitten State Park." (See "PETA Offers to Save Beach If Name Is Changed")


This is not a joke.


And what, you may ask, are "sea kittens"? Fish, apparently. According to Lindsay Rajt of PETA, "The term 'sea kitten' is an effort to evoke the same sympathy for fish that people feel for cats and dogs." Well, good luck with that. Does PETA not realize that people love kittens not because they're called "kittens," but rather because they're adorable. And delicious. (Did we say that out loud?) Fish, on the other hand, are simply delicious. Oh, we'll admit we sometimes get a little verklempt when we see a cute little flounder playing with a ball of yarn or chasing its own tail, but in general we don't find fish cute, and calling them "sea kittens" will do nothing to change this.


How do you suppose PETA's financial supporters feel about this? We're unsure exactly how much PETA is willing to pony up--sorry, is willing to "humanely-treated, fully-inoculated, and stylishly-groomed little horse" up--in order to save the beach, but is this really the best use of funds? Exactly how many additional animals will be "ethically treated" as a result of this outlay? If comments on "Digg.com" are any indication, the whole thing may backfire: The first comment we came across, posted by someone named "fuzzyllama," was "Mmm these kittens taste like fish." There must be better ways for PETA to spend money.

Sea kitten? (Image from howstuffworks.com)

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A personal note:


Today marks the 40th anniversary of the appearance on this earth of FOS. We've known FOS for 34 of those years. And while it is sad to see someone we care about slipping precipitously into his dotage (he is significantly older than the Solipsist, who doesn't celebrate the second anniversary of his 39th birthday for several weeks yet), we want to use the bully pulpit of the internet to wish him many happy returns.


Now, FOS, get on Facebook will you!